World's Worst
by Animom
Summary: An argument between under-appreciated underlings Isono and Crocketts leads to a bet: can Pegasus and Kaiba give up their luxuries and toys and work side-by-side like "ordinary guys" in a challenging job? For two weeks? Without killing each other? *** Snarky friendship fic: NOT a pairing, but since Pegasus is involved there are of course plentiful "overtones" and innuendo.
1. A Wager is Made

Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

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Description: Two CEOs. One wager. Can Pegasus and Kaiba survive for two weeks living and working as "ordinary people"?

Set a few years after the series end (so Seto is 21, and Mokuba is 17). Uses English dub as canon, more or less.

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><p><strong>World's Worst, Chapter 1: In Which a Wager is Made <strong>  
><em>by Animom<em>

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><p>.<p>

People rarely accused Maximillion "Pegasus" J. Crawford of being cheap. Sneaky, yes. Annoying, most definitely. Capricious, self-indulgent, occasionally vindictive …

But not cheap.

And so of course the luxurious carpet in the luxurious waiting room outside Pegasus' luxurious private office was literally so thick that one could lose a shoe in its plush depths, while the door to the office was made of rare woods, beautifully carved and polished.

Two men set in the waiting room, staring stonily at that very door.

The older of the two men, his prematurely grey hair being crowded out with premature white, might have admitted, if pressed, that just like his employer, the door layered ostentatious beauty over solid steel. The other man, whose black hair was daubed with white at the temples, was trying to pretend – as he did every time Kaiba Seto met with Pegasus – that he was paying no attention to the extremely rude things that the two company presidents were shouting at each other behind the apparently-not-thick-enough-to-be-soundproof door.

After a particularly vicious retort made its way through, the older man made a faint "Tch!" noise.

The younger turned in his chair, his sunglasses flashing in the soft indirect lighting. "Excuse me, Croquet, did you say something?"

The older man pressed his lips together, then raised his eyebrows above his own dark glasses. "Well ..."

The younger man folded his arms. "I'm listening."

Croquet exhaled, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off the knee of his trousers. "Well, Roland, to be honest, although I grant that young Kaiba has risen to _almost_ the same social standing as Mister Pegasus, I still feel that he should show respect when addressing an elder."

"Mr. Kaiba shows respect to those who deserve it," Roland sniffed, then rubbed his nose. "And what do you mean, _almost the same social standing?_"

Croquet coughed delicately. "Young Kaiba has done well, considering his background. I really shouldn't expect him to match the refinement that comes from being raised in the heart of a family with generations of gentility."

"Generations of inbreeding, more like it," Roland muttered.

"Pardon me?" Croquet had sat up straight and his forehead was furrowed with scowl. "The Crawfords are not inbred!"

"I meant no insult – but really, how else would you explain it?"

"Explain what?"

"His," Roland waved a hand, "the way Pegasus is always so, so – "

"So _what_?" Croquet's raspy voice was a growl, and he had leaned forward.

Roland flinched. "Refined," he said, pulling a white handkerchief from his suit pocket and wiping his forehead. "So _refined_."

"Refinement is certainly preferable to being barked at by a rude brat less than half one's age," Croquet said tartly.

Roland was aghast. "_Rude?_ Mister Kaiba is not _rude_."

"Than what would you you call it?" Croquet asked. "Since you're so good with words?"

"He's – " Roland paused to think. "He's _forthright_. Cuts through the unnecessary to the heart of a matter."

"In other words, _rude_."

Roland lifted his chin and said coldly, "He's given me enormous responsibility. Trusted me with extremely vital operations."

"Really? It seems to me that his seventeen-year old brother has more responsibility than you do most of the time."

Roland bristled. "Mister Kaiba's is very good to me."

"I'm sure he is," Croquet said, and pursed his lips. "I see that _everything money can buy_ now includes blind loyalty."

"And you're above such things such as money, I suppose?" At Croquet's diffident shrug, Roland asked with a smirk, "Rather have private dungeon time with your employer?"

Croquet paled. "Is _that_ what people think?"

"Generations of gentility, eh? Everyone's heard the rumors. It's a wonder the Crawfords have been able to produce heirs to carry on the line."

"Are you implying – "

"That Pegasus is a pampered, childish, sissy?"

"Better that than an arrogant, technology-obsessed robot like Kaiba!"

They were both standing now, glaring at each other.

There was a crash from Pegasus's office, and nearly simultaneous shouts of "Absolutely not! Give that back at once!" and "Think again, asshole!"

This broke the tension in the waiting room, and both men dropped their eyes, mumbling apologies.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said those things," Croquet said.

"No, no, I was the one who was out of line," Roland insisted.

"It must be difficult to be so young, raising a sibling and trying to run a corporation."

"And after all, Pegasus was in love. With his wife. Who was a woman."

"I've been told that Kaiba's inventions are brilliant."

"He is a man of his word."

"He has an impressive sense of personal style for one so young."

"Pegasus is always a generous host."

"Kaiba seems admirably devoted to his younger brother."

"He seems so courteous, too. Says _Please_ and _Thank you. _It'd be nice to hear that once in a while ..."

"He comes across as very rational. Logical, predictable … what I wouldn't give for a few weeks of that!"

"... and he seems to have an understanding of normal human emotions and reactions ..."

They stopped, suddenly realizing what they were saying.

Roland looked down at his shoes.

Croquet cleared his throat.

Long, guilty, uncomfortable moments passed, until finally Roland sighed. "Alright, let's be honest. They're _both _horrible."

Croquet nodded, commiserating. "Self-centered. Insensitive."

"Neither of them understand," Roland said, "what life's like for the ordinary person."

"They were born into wealth," Croquet said, "or acquired it early, and they're spoiled. They haven't ever had to work mindless, degrading jobs just to scrape together enough for food and shelter."

"And even though they've gone through rough times, it doesn't ..."

"It doesn't seem to have given them any insight into themselves, let alone any empathy for others." Croquet shook his head sadly.

"He doesn't see how much his abrasiveness alienates people."

"He won't admit how lonely he is."

"Other than his brother, it's clear that his real love is his electronic gadgets. He values things more than people."

"Pegasus can't bear to be without his luxuries. He practically throws a tantrum if his _Funny Bunny_ is late, or if we run out of any of his special imported cheeses."

"Some days …"

"I feel sorry for him."

"And the rest of the time hate myself for staying."

"Exactly."

"_I can't believe what I'm hearing!"_

At the sound of Pegasus's voice, both Roland and Croquet looked with horror at the office door: now open, it framed a lugubrious Pegasus and a smoldering Kaiba.

"Croquet, do you really and truly feel that way?" Pegasus' hand was over his heart. "Am I truly that horrible? Do I really throw tantrums over cheese?"

"Well ..." Croquet tugged at his shirt collar as if his tie was strangling him.

"I can believe it," Kaiba said sharply, for the moment leaving Roland to quiver in terror. "You're a clueless _prima donna_."

Pegasus put his other hand over his heart now, as if mortally wounded. "That's just the sort of hurtful comment someone who values things more than people would make, Kaiba-boy." As Kaiba glowered, Pegasus continued to Croquet, "I had no idea that you were so unhappy, Croquet. Let me make it up to you. I'll go a week – no, _two_ weeks – living – how did you put it? – like an ordinary person. I'll drink tap water, I'll eat plain bread, I'll even read nothing but the _newspaper _… "

Kaiba scoffed. "So dramatic. Two weeks? You wouldn't last a day."

"At least I'm making an effort to improve myself, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus said, irritated. "To take this painful windfall of honesty and, as much as it may sting me, use it to improve myself."

"Hn." Kaiba folded his arms and stared at Roland, but under the look of furious reprimand was a question.

"I suppose you think _you're_ perfect in every way?" Pegasus asked. When Kaiba didn't reply, Pegasus added maliciously, "If you do, you're the only one. Did you know that even your brother _Mokuba_ gets tired of you at times? He told me so, when he was my guest at Duelist Kingdom."

The muscles in Kaiba's face bunched as he clenched his jaw, but he said nothing.

Pegasus, irritated that he'd been foiled, turned to Croquet again. "I know money isn't that important to you, but if I fail in my attempt, would you accept a bonus of six-month's pay in addition to my heartfelt apologies?"

Croquet gasped.

"Or perhaps I should make it a full year's salary," Pegasus said thoughtfully, "Tax-free, of course."

"Might as well pay him now," Kaiba said. "You won't be able to do it."

Pegasus studied Roland for a moment, then turned to Kaiba and smiled. "I have an idea."

"I have a business to run in Japan," Kaiba said dryly, "Don't waste my time with any nonsense."

"What if we _both _attempted the simple life? I'll forgo my pleasures, you'll set aside your toys, and we'll both get jobs of the sort that – what did your man Roland call it? – oh yes, 'common men' do. And we'll see who can tolerate it the longest. Everyone will be _most_ impressed at our efforts to be ordinary."

"I doubt it."

Pegasus had momentum, however, and wasn't deterred. "The loser could pay the winner's right-hand man a year's salary. I think that would be a nice gesture, don't you? Though I really have no idea how much you pay to your marvelous man Roland over there: it's probably far more than I can afford to pay Croquet."

"Are you finished?" Kaiba asked, checking his cell phone and beginning to walk toward the hallway that led out of the business wing of Pegasus' mansion.

"It's too bad," Pegasus mused, a finger on his chin. "We could even have drawn up a legally binding contract to make sure that I couldn't find some way to wriggle out of paying if I lost … oh, but where are my manners? Here I am babbling on about contracts when you have a flight to catch! Or did you fly that lovely Blue Eyes White Dragon jet of yours over here? Such a marvelous _toy_. It's no wonder you love it so."

"Goodbye, Pegasus." Kaiba and Roland began descending the stairway that spiraled down to the mansion's foyer.

"Well, I suppose it's wise we discarded the idea," Pegasus said, leaning over the railing as Kaiba reached the front door. "After all, despite your youth, your personality is _far_ less flexible than mine. Less adaptable to change."

"I'm not playing the game," Kaiba said, his voice echoing up the stairwell. "You can stop now."

"And then of course I can imagine how completely _humiliating_ it would have been for you to lose to me – _again_."

Kaiba stopped, his hand on the front door.

"Gotcha," Pegasus whispered. "You were right, Croquet. He's very predictable."

"I can't believe you think you could win such a ridiculous bet ..." Kaiba said.

"Yes, it is _completely_ ridiculous."

"I wouldn't waste time on such a thing … "

"Not even as a vacation, Kaiba-boy?"

Kaiba looked up at him. "I don't take vacations."

"I can tell," Pegasus murmured.

"Perhaps _you_ can neglect your company for weeks or months," Kaiba said, making a dramatic sweeping gesture with his arm and then making a fist, "but I am surrounded by sharks, ever circling, just waiting for a moment's weakness."

"I wonder if doing such an unpredictable, uncharacteristic thing would throw the sharks off guard?" Pegasus said as if to himself. "No, probably not ..."

Kaiba scowled. "They would assume that I had a hidden motive, and would scramble to uncover it." He folded his arms. "Hn. It might be interesting, I suppose."

Scenting victory. Pegasus held his breath.

"Well," Kaiba said abruptly, "you keep saying two weeks, we both know that it won't take nearly that long before you run screaming back to your silk suits and your imported delicacies."

Pegasus pretended to be offended. "You _wound_ me, Kaiba-boy."

"I'll accept your challenge. Prepare to be crushed!"

"I don't know ..." Pegasus said dreamily, resting his chin in his hand. "Now I'm having second thoughts."

"Pegasus!" Kaiba was snarling.

"Oh, all right," Pegasus said, running down the stairs with Croquet a few steps behind. "Since you _insist_. It won't take long to draw up a contract, and I believe that both of our witnesses are notaries as well?"

As the astonished Roland and Croquet nodded, Pegasus went on. "To make it fair, you two knowledgeable gentlemen may choose our type and place of employment. Make sure it's something … _common_," he told Croquet. "Mind-numbingly dull. Low-tech. _No computers._" This last was said with triumphant gloating.

Kaiba eyed Pegasus sourly, then told Roland in a bored drawl, "The job cannot have any prerequisites: it needs to be the sort of place that would hire even an idiot," – here Kaiba looked witheringly at Pegasus – "as long as he was willing to do the work." He chuckled unpleasantly. "It will likely require demanding physical labor, in extremely difficult surroundings. Think you can handle that, Pegasus?"

"Oh, I can handle _much_ more than you think, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus said, beaming. "I'll enjoy seeing you sweat."

"I'll enjoy seeing you _lose,_" Kaiba said, and for a moment it looked as if he was almost smiling as well.

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_~ to be continued ~_

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A big thank you to **Dark Rabbit, Rroselavy,** and **Shiro**, who between them betaed this chapter, made me think, and helped brainstorm some of the surprises coming up.

The "private dungeon time" is a sly reference to the end of episode 10, where a displeased Pegasus says to Croquet (after it's reported that Kaiba has escaped capture yet again), "Must I lock you away, Croquet? _Again?_"

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(08) 4 Oct 2014

(concept: 4 January 2011)


	2. A Contract is Signed

Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

Description: Two CEOs. Two weeks. One bet. Can Pegasus and Kaiba handle being ordinary people?

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><p><strong>World's Worst, Chapter 2:<br>In Which A Contract is Signed and an Adventure Begins**  
><em>by Animom<em>

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><p>.<p>

A conference table is not just a piece of furniture: it can be the battlefield for mighty clashes or the port from which great ventures embark.

Unfortunately, sometimes it's just a table.

On this particular day, at this particular table, four men sat. Two were highly trusted (at least until now) right-hand men/gofers/whipping boys. Across from them sat their bosses, Seto Kaiba and Maximillion Crawford, reading the lengthy contract that had been drawn up by the Industrial Illusion lawyers and approved by the Kaiba Corporation lawyers.

Pegasus sighed as he let the pages flip back. "So many words for a friendly wager between friends. Really, a handshake should suffice."

"I don't want to shake hands with you," Kaiba said sourly, not looking up as continued to read. "And I'm _not_ your friend."

"You're always so cruel, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus murmured.

"The company lawyers," Croquet said, "preferred to have a formal contract, since the wager involves such a large amount of money."

"Large? Not to me. A trifling bagatelle." Pegasus flourished his fountain pen. "Where do I sign? I can't wait to find out where we're going and what we're doing!"

Kaiba, still reading, asked, "I'm not signing until Mokuba sees this."

"He has, sir," Roland said, pushing a sheet of paper across the table as proof. "He made the Industrial Illusion lawyers remove the apology clause before he gave his approval."

"_Apology clause?_ What bullshit was that?"

Pegasus smiled sweetly. "Just a tiny concession to civility. I can't see _why_ there was an objection to it."

Kaiba snorted, turned another page, then asked, "I'm not allowed to take my cell phone?"

"It's technology," Croquet said apologetically.

"I see. So the 'signaling device' that you'll be providing is what? A mirror?"

Roland put two postage-stamp sized plastic squares on the table. "Membrane transmitters. If they're folded in half and squeezed, a circuit is activated that sends a signal to a transponder on the company satellite system."

"My goodness, Kaiba-boy, he's sounding more like you every day," Pegasus said cheerfully. He picked up one of the squares. "Adhesive backed? – oh, we _wear_ these?" He chuckled. "This is beginning to feel like such an adventure, isn't it?"

"Whose company satellite?"

"Both," Croquet said.

"Adhesive?" Kaiba was eying the second micro-transmitter. "Why?"

"Oh! Oh! I know!" Pegasus said eagerly. "If we wear them on our bodies, it prevents the other person from activating the _I Quit_ signal maliciously. Am I right?"

"Only you would think of that," Kaiba said.

"Just don't put it on your waist, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus said with a wink, "lest you find yourself unexpectedly … _bending over."_

It took Kaiba a moment to process this, and when he did he stood and snatched up his briefcase. "That's it. I'm not going to put up with two weeks of your leering bullshit!"

Pegasus was instantly contrite. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He made an X over his jacket pocket. "Cross my heart." He held out his pen. "Sit back down and sign, won't you? I promise I'll behave."

Glaring, Kaiba sat back down. He did not take the pen.

"It's not _my_ fault you're so delicious," Pegasus murmured.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing," Pegasus replied airily.

Kaiba folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. "I still see no specific description of the job we will be doing."

"Well," Roland said, swallowing nervously, and glanced at Croquet.

"We found exactly the sort of work you asked for," Croquet said.

"It's physical," Roland reassured Kaiba.

"Are there computers?" asked Pegasus.

Croquet glanced at Roland. "There are several … at the location. But you won't have access to them."

"Hear that?" Pegasus nudged Kaiba, needling. "No internet. No e-mail. How _ever_ will you stand it?"

At Kaiba's glower Roland hastily added, "Long shifts, hard work, dirty, smelly …"

"Smelly?" Pegasus sounded disconcerted.

"Perfect," Kaiba said. "I'm in." He wrote his signature with a flourish, then took Pegasus' copy of the contract, flipped to the last page, and tapped the signature line. "Sign there." He gloated as he saw Pegasus hesitate. "If you don't want to go through this bother, Pegasus, just concede to me now."

With a sour look and a _harumph_, Pegasus signed; then he and Kaiba traded copies, signed a second time, and finally passed the documents to Roland and Croquet to be witnessed and notarized.

Pegasus folded his hands and asked brightly, "Now what? Do we get to fill out a – what is it called again? Oh yes – a 'job application' ?"

'You won't need to apply," Croquet said. "I've arranged your employment though a family acquaintance."

"And we are qualified to do whatever work you've arranged?" Kaiba asked. "This dirty, _smelly_ work?"

"They'll take anyone, as they found themselves unexpectedly shorthanded."

Kaiba slapped his hand on the table. "Enough vagueness – w_hat are we doing?"_

In reply, Roland and Croquet lifted matching duffel bags from the floor and set them on the table.

"As per the contract you just signed, you'll depart immediately," Croquet said. "Your work uniforms are in these bags, as well as the basic necessities you'll need for the next two weeks. Take your identification, but no money or credit cards."

"Oh, outfits and equipment!" Pegasus jumped up and unzipped his duffel, looking like a kid unwrapping a birthday present – but his face fell into confusion as he pulled out a heavy hooded sweatshirt, a thick quilted jacket, a hard hat, and finally bright orange waterproof pants with plastic suspenders.

"As soon as you've changed clothes," Roland said, "you'll be flown to Kodiak, Alaska, where you'll be boarding _The Stygian_."

"Stygian? Not a very auspicious name," Pegasus said peevishly, frowning at the thick soled rubber boots and thermal underwear in the bag. "I take it we won't be on a cruise."

"No." Croquet took a deep breath. "_The Stygian_ is a … a … freezer trawler."

"A _what?_"

"A fish processing factory," Roland replied. "Boat."

Taking note of Pegasus' horrified expression, Kaiba laughed uproariously and stood to empty his pockets onto the table. "How long did I say you'd last? Two days? That was a generous overestimate."

"That's – you're so _mean_, Kaiba-boy!" Pegasus held up a pair of drab gray wool socks and shuddered.

"I know you can do it, sir!" Croquet said, but not one of the four in the room believed that statement for even a minute.

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"Well, isn't _this_ bleak?"

After the third of a series of smaller and smaller airplanes had left them at what the hand-drawn map that Roland had provided said was an airport – but was literally a desolate runway intersecting a road – Pegasus was at the breaking point. "Where is everyone?" he asked, as if he could materialize people from his annoyance. "Was there a zombie invasion here?"

Kaiba snorted, shouldered his bag, studied the map, and pointed. "We walk."

"How far?" Pegasus asked.

"Until we get there." Kaiba was cheerfully grim.

"You're enjoying this!" Pegasus accused.

Kaiba gave a derisive chuckle and started walking.

"At least these clothes are warm. If inconceivably unflattering." Pegasus huffed as he hurried after him, pulling the drawstring of his sweatshirt hood to close it 'round his face. "I can't believe that they didn't send a driver."

"Ordinary people don't have drivers."

"I suppose not." Pegasus matched his stride to Kaiba's. "Now, I've been thinking. Since we're both billionaires, I think that we should go _incognito_. I've already thought up assumed names for us, so when we get there, let me do the talking."

"As if I could stop you."

Pegasus pretended as if he hadn't heard this. "I mean no offense, but your English isn't quite good enough."

"Isn't that a first for you? Not meaning to offend?"

The rest of the four-mile minute walk passed without conversation.

As they approached the dock area that Roland had highlighted on the map, a group of three men of assorted heights and shapes, all wearing stained and well-weathered variations of the clothes that Kaiba and Pegasus had on, waved and called to them. "Heya! You all the replacement boys Little Sammy said he'd send over?"

"Yes, we are!" Pegasus shouted in reply, breaking into a jog. "We're _so_ glad to see you!"

"Croquet's acquaintance is named Little Sammy?" Kaiba asked under his breath as they ran across the eerily deserted dock toward the three men.

"How do I know?" Pegasus murmured back. "They _do_ seem to be expecting us."

"Well now, we're glad to see you boys, too," said the tallest of the men, a red-haired bearded giant with icicles in his beard. "I'm Captain Lloyd. This here," he nudged the compact, middle-aged man squinting next to him, "is our deck foreman Ted, and tha' great slab of native next to him is our factory manager**."**

The Inuit smiled and engulfed Pegasus's hand in a huge-gloved handshake. "I'm Taliriktug, but mosta the guys call me Tali."

'Well, Captain Lloyd, Deck Foreman Ted, and Factory Manager Tali," Pegasus said with a small bow, "I am Algernon Paris, and this is my assistant, Kinotsumaru Nichols."

"Come again?" Captain Lloyd asked, tilting his head. "Assistant?"

"Sammy didn't mention he was sending no blind guy over." Ted's hostility was undisguised.

Kaiba, an alpha curmudgeon himself, bristled. "Do you _see_ a white cane? He's missing one eye, not two. Even you ought to be able to count that high."

Pegasus interrupted before blood was shed. "Yes, well, erm, in addition to working on your boat I'm also researching a book." At their blank stare he added, "It's going to be called, ah, _Rugged Men of the __North._ He assists me with that_._"

"Rugged …. hoo-kay," Captain Lloyd said. "Well, I guess you're all that's left in the barrel, so we'll just make the best of it. Better than nothing, I suppose."

"We are here to work," Kaiba said firmly.

"That's good," Tali said earnestly. "What was your name again?"

Kaiba threw a venomous look at Pegasus, then said – biting off each syllable crisply – "Ki-no-tsu-ma-ru."

"Can I just call you Kino?" Tali asked.

"We better get moving," Captain Lloyd said. "Let's get these two going on the offload. That tramper cap'n's ready to pan-fry my balls for holding up his departure."

"I don't want no half-blind powderpuff and his seein'-eye dog anywhere near my nets," Ted told Captain Lloyd, ignoring Pegasus and Kaiba as the group started walking towards a large boat docked at the nearest pier. "And no photographin' nothin'. Ain't no_ rugged men_ on _my_ deck anyhow."

"What an impressive ship!" Pegasus told the captain. "Those big cranes – I assume they're used to pull in the nets?" He sounded genuinely interested.

"Not exactly," the captain said, flustered by this unexpected interest. "They're used to offload the stacks of bags of frozen fish from our freezer hold. See, there's a load going over to the tramper now …"

As Captain Lloyd continued to explain, Tali asked Kaiba, "So, a research assistant, huh? Is it fun working with Mister Paris? Did you have to go to college to learn how to help him?"

"I'm sure whatever he's doing with _Mister Paris_ they don't teach in no college," Ted said snidely as they followed the Captain and Pegasus up the gangplank. "Ain't never heard it referred to as 'research assistant' before though. That's a new one."

Kaiba narrowed his eyes and then drawled, "No? What term did they use when _you_ were in prison?" Before Ted could reply, however, Kaiba noticed something on the side of the boat and hurried to where Pegasus was listening to an increasingly red-faced Captain reel off facts about tonnages and price-per-pound and knots-per-hour. "I think we – "

"Don't interrupt the Captain, Kai – er, _Kinotsumaru_," Pegasus said loftily. "He is explaining some very important things. Perhaps you should make note of them?" As Kaiba gritted his teeth and began to seethe Pegasus added, "For the _book_? I am _paying_ you to be a research assistant, after all. Not to think or talk."

"What'd I tell ya, Tali?" Ted said with a snort as they brushed past. "Getting paid for his services."

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The Captain finally excused himself, saying that he was needed on the bridge, but before he went he asked Tali to show the newcomers to his room so that they could stow their gear. "And then we can use some extra hands, if you're ready to dive in."

"Of course," Pegasus said. "Willing and eager. My hands are yours."

At that the Captain turned purple and hurried off, pinching his nose.

"Pegasus, listen – " Kaiba started to say, but Pegasus cut him off again. "Ah-ah ah!" He waggled a finger. "Remember, assistants should be seen but not heard!"

Kaiba pressed his lips together, but there was a ferally malicious glint in his eye.

Tali explained, as he led them though the maze of equipment and enormous rolled nets that filled the sides of the main deck that the ship had five main areas. Above the main deck, near the front of the ship ("The _bow_," Pegasus whispered to Kaiba) was the bridge, where the captain and navigator spent most of the trip; the main deck, which was where the filled nets were pulled through a trapdoor in the rear of the ship ("The _stern_," Pegasus whispered); the factory level, which was where the fish dumped from the nets were held in tanks chilled by sea water until they were released onto conveyor belts for bleeding and gutting; and in the lowest level of the ship the freezer hold, where the processed fish were stored at temperatures far below freezing until they could be offloaded onto a "tramper" for transport to their final markets.

"So we're staying with the Captain," Pegasus said as they descended half a level from the main deck and moved though a narrow passageway under the bridge. "That's very gracious."

Tali laughed. "Well, the Captain spends pretty much all the time we're out of port up on the bridge monitoring his computers, so he hardly ever uses it. And right now it's the only room with two open berths. He figured you two would want to stay together." He stopped by an open doorway. "Plus, this way we don't have to know when you're sleeping to know how to fit you in the schedule."

"Oh, we're just ordinary guys. We'll sleep at the same time as everyone else," Pegasus said. "When you stop … fishing and processing for the night."

Tali chuckled. "That's a good one, Mister Paris. You know fishing goes round the clock!"

"You poor thing. You work without sleep?" Pegasus asked. "Twenty-four hours a day?"

"Nah, only 'til offload is done," Tali said, completely without rancor. "Sixteen is my usual. I sleep the 4:30 to midnight shift."

"I see. Is this your room you're showing us?" Pegasus asked, peering inside. The "room" wasn't much wider than the doorway. On the right two bunks – set into wall niches, their mattresses held in place by wooden slats - were screened by short cloth curtains. At the end of the room a half-open door revealed a toilet and tiny sink.

"My room?" Tali laughed. "No no, mine isn't this nice. This is Captain Lloyd's room." Oblivious to Pegasus' astonished stare, Tali said, "Stow your dunnage on your bunk til the Captain clears a shelf for you." He rubbed his hands. "And let's get going to the offload! Chilly Willy tells great jokes, and if we get there late we'll miss the new ones!"

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"What I wouldn't give for a long hot soak in a bath," Pegasus groaned eleven hours later. Eleven hours of face-numbing, hand-numbing, mind-numbing work in the freezer hold, passing forty-pound bagged slabs of plastic-wrapped gutted and frozen fish fire-brigade style from storage alcoves around the walls of the hold to crew members standing in the center, where the bags were stacked in an interlocking pattern on a heavy-duty reinforced canvas tarpaulin. There was a brief breather every few minutes, when a crane operator on the main deck lifted the stacked load out of the hold and across to the waiting tramper docked along side them, but then the bags had to start moving again.

Chilly Willy did indeed have many jokes, some of them vulgar and the rest _unbelievably_ vulgar, but once he started telling them it happily took the spotlight off "the new guys". True, their bulky clothes and hard hats were far too clean to truly blend in, but with Tali cheerfully instructing them what to do, their obvious ability to follow instructions meant that the others paid them no mind.

Which was good, because once they understood what they were supposed to be doing, their attention was entirely focused on each other. Each took and passed bags while watching the other for a sign of weakness, of exhaustion, each trying to hide the dismay they felt when yet another panel slid back to reveal yet another mountain of brown bags. Kaiba especially seemed to be trying to hand off his bag just a _little_ faster than Pegasus every time – so much so that during a lull Tali finally told him, "Slow down there a little, Kino. If you don't pace yourself you'll pull a muscle and won't be able to finish."

The last of the bags was lifted away just after dawn. After making their aching way up out of the freezer hold and back to the main deck, they took a moment to stand at the rail and take in the pink and yellow reflections sparkling on the frigid water of the harbor before letting Tali lead them to the Captain's room to sleep.

"Make sure you hang out those sweaty clothes and put on dry ones before you bunk," Tali told them. "Dry ones make you feel warmer and sleep better, and the bunk won't get stinky for the next guy."

"What do we do in the morning if our wet clothes aren't dry?" Pegasus had asked. "I only have two sets."

Tali had shrugged. "I guess you'll just have to put 'em back on. You can't work naked." As Pegasus hurried into the bathroom with his duffel bag, Tali told Kaiba, "You're lucky. Cap' Lloyd says you guys are off the hook for doing maintenance chores while we're outbound."

"Maintenance?" Kaiba swayed as the ship's motors rumbled and the floor began to vibrate with the ship's movement.

"Ya. Cleaning the gunk out of the grinders and the sump. Gotta do that every trip or the waste backs up into the factory."

Kaiba nodded as if he understood, and grabbed at the edge of the bunk as the ship, which until then had been rocking gently, listed sharply.

"See you guys on the far side," Tali said cheerfully, and left.

Pegasus came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, spreading his damp clothes over every available surface. "I'd _rather_ work naked than put these clammy disgusting clothes back on tomorrow." When the comment brought only a weak snort from Kaiba he asked, "Is something wrong, Kaiba-boy? You don't seem yourself. And you didn't say a word the entire time we were – _offloading the freezer hold._" He seemed to enjoy rolling the new terminology off his tongue.

"You told me not to talk, remember?" The ship listed in the opposite direction, and Kaiba rushed into the bathroom.

"I suppose I did. What was it that you were so impatient to tell me?" Pegasus asked, climbing into the top bunk and pulling his sweatshirt hood up over his head. "Before, when I was talking to the Captain?" He listened to the retching followed by dry-heaving occurring in the bathroom. "Other than that you're prone to sea-sickness?"

Some words were said, but they were lost to the sound of flushing.

"I didn't quite get that," Pegasus called out mischievously.

"I said, you moron," Kaiba said, clutching the jamb of the bathroom door as the ship pitched yet again, "that you were too busy sucking up to the captain to notice that the side of this ship didn't say _The Stygian_, it said_ The Mermaid's Boon_."

"Is that bad?" Pegasus's eyes were wide. "Maybe Captain Lloyd has two boats?"

"It's probably not important, since there's plenty of work to do, but it means that we've become employed on the wrong fucking boat."

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_~ to be continued ~_

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**Author's Notes**

Thank you once again to **Dark Rabbit** and **Rroselavy** for betaing, to **Stinger107** for some key feedback, and to** Death 101- Fox Version**** and ******Tsavorite Garnet******,** who noted in their reviews some missing details in the story (which were subsequently fixed).

This chapter (and the next owe) a great deal to Mike Rowe's _Dirty Jobs_ – specifically Collection 4, Episode 8. I had come up with the idea of this particular job during a chat with Rroselavy, but it wasn't until I started researching it and came across that show that I realized what a fortunate choice it was.

According to my quick-and-dirty translation site, _kinotsumaru_ means "stuffy" (as well as being nick-nameable to "Ken" – close enough to Kaiba to be recognizable). The other possibility was _ijiwaru_ – "malicious, ill-tempered, unkind" – which is no doubt the middle name Pegasus picked out for Kaiba.

Finally: A big thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter 1, including those who reviewed anonymously.

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(05) 18 May 2011 ~ edited initial meeting to roll in references to Peg's eye.


	3. A Real Piece of Work

Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

Description: Two CEOs. Two weeks. One bet. Can Pegasus and Kaiba handle being ordinary people?

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><p><strong>World's Worst, Chapter 3: A Real Piece of Work<strong>  
><em>by Animom<em>

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><p>.<p>

Seto Kaiba wasn't a morning person in the usual sense. While he preferred to start his day at 3 am – his mental powers and concentration were sharpest at that time, in the quiet pre-dawn before less gifted people began to pester him with idiotic concerns – he had often been told by his brother that he was not a pleasant person to be around when he first awoke.

Understandable, then, that sleeping until early afternoon – well past his mental peak – and then being startled out of sleep by someone attempting to press something to his neck probably ensured that he was as far from pleasant as it was possible to be.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?" He sat up so suddenly that he cracked his forehead on the underside of the top bunk. "Get away from me! What are you doing, you freak?"

It was Pegasus, with the infuriating _Oops! Did I do that?_ expression that he wore so often. "You've been in the bathroom a lot. Did you get any sleep at all since we stopped working this morning?"

"I _was_ sleeping. Just now." Kaiba rubbed his forehead, checking his fingertips every few seconds as if looking for blood.

"Oh dear. I didn't mean to wake you," Pegasus said. "I was only trying to put one of these on you." He held out his hand: in his palm was a thumbnail-sized circle of flesh-colored fabric. "It's a seasickness patch. Croquet hid a few of them in my luggage." He then lifted his hair with his other hand, displaying his own patch. "I haven't felt sick at all since I put it on."

"Are you sure that _ordinary_ people are allowed to have those patches?" Kaiba snarled. "Since Croquet has decided that they apparently don't have access to cell phones."

"Of course they have them." Pegasus frowned. "Don't be so silly, Kaiba-boy. We're not in the _Middle Ages._ It's not like the everyday Joe doesn't have access to doctors and pharmacies."

"What do _you_ know about the everyday Joe?"

"More than you do," Pegasus said tartly, "because I take the time to learn." He held his hand closer. "Now, are you going to let me put this patch on you, or do you want to keep making that horrible noise in the bathroom every twenty minutes for the next two weeks?"

Kaiba snatched the patch up and applied it just as Tali appeared in the doorway. "Heya guys, grab your rubber gloves. You're goin' down!"

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Tali's domain was the factory level of the ship, where the tons of fish that each net dumped through trap doors in the main deck fell into chilled tanks before being spilled out onto a conveyor for sorting, processing, and finally freezing – all within hours of being caught. The conveyor, which meandered like a noisy, waist high creek of stainless steel from one end of the factory to the other, was so clean it looked new. Signs about disposing of waste, cleaning surfaces, and disinfecting cutting boards were everywhere.

The stench, on the other hand, was a physical force that made their eyes water and their stomachs curdle.

"That smell," Tali yelled over his shoulder as he led them though the landscape of mysterious machines and crew members with flashing knives, "that's from the fish scraps and waste." He pointed at the floor, where, several inches below the pathway of metal grates they were walking on, unidentifiable streamers and clods of flesh rocked sluggishly back and forth in pinkish water.

"How … " Pegasus waved his hands, unable to find an adjective.

"I'm starting you out at one of our bleeding stations," Tali said, stopping at a work area that was shielded on both sides by metal plates. Three large cutting boards were lined up in front of a row of small chutes, while behind the chutes the conveyor of fish stuttered by.

Tali pulled a knife from a rack, grabbed a fish from the conveyor, slashed across its body just below the gills, and then tossed it into a chute. "Now you try it," he said, handing knives to Pegasus and Kaiba.

"Why are we doing this?" Kaiba asked, watching from the corner of his eye as Pegasus stabbed ineffectually at his fish. "Aren't they already dead?"

"Most of 'em," Tali said, his hands in constant motion, slitting and tossing a dozen fish while Pegasus and Kaiba were still struggling to finish their first one. "But these big ones have to be bled right away or else they start to spoil."

"This one doesn't seem to have any blood," Pegasus said.

Barely breaking his rhythm, Tali reached over and drew his knife across Pegasus' fish. Blood sprayed out, splattering Pegasus – and explaining the presence of the metal shields around the work area.

"Sorry," Tali said, "they do that sometimes. Try not to let the blood get in your eyes. Eye, I mean."

Kaiba, who had bitten back a snicker, was sprinkled a few fish later.

"Okay," Tali said once he had seen both of them successfully slice a number of fish. "You keep at this 'til you're sure you got the hang of it, I'll be over there." He pointed to where the other factory crew members were grouped along long tables.

"So we don't just stand in one place and do the same thing over and over all day?" Pegasus asked. "That's what factory work in the movies is like."

"No, there's not enough crew for that," Tali said. "When a haul comes in, pretty much everyone does does sorting or bleeding, and then moves on to gutting. After that some filet and some do stomachs, and then everyone helps tray and weigh. Depending on how long the previous haul's been in the freezer, and how soon the new haul is coming in, I'll decide how many people to put on bagging and stacking, so that everyone stays busy and no bottlenecks build up."

"Bottlenecks?"

"Nothing to do with wine, Mister Paris," Kaiba said to Pegasus. "It means a critical step that slows or halts a process."

"I knew that," Pegasus whispered, irritated.

"Yeah, that's exactly right, Kino!" Tali nodded. "You musta done supervisor work before, eh?"

Kaiba shrugged.

"When do people know to move on from the … fish-throat-cutting station?" Pegasus asked, looking pleased with his success as he dropped his completed fish in a chute.

"When the conveyor belt is empty," Tali said, wiping his knife on his sleeve and then putting it back in the rack. "Have fun."

Kaiba, who by the tenth fish was going almost as fast as Tali had been, glanced at Pegasus. "Pull up on the gills and slice right here," he said, pointing with the tip of his knife. "You're supposed to bleed it, not assassinate it."

"It's no wonder you've caught on so quickly," Pegasus said, peevishly following Kaiba's orders. "You've always been _far_ more cutthroat than I."

Kaiba almost smiled.

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In the next few hours they learned how to sort guts, squeeze out stomach contents – _I hear your people make a tasty soup from fish belly_ one of the other workers said to Kaiba – and finally weigh and pack the completed fish into large plastic-lined metal trays for freezing. By then another net had dumped its twelve-ton load into the holding tank, the conveyors began to fill again, and it was back to the bleeding stations.

Tali pulled them on the third haul and sent them to knock the slabs of frozen fish out of the pans, wrap and bag them, and send them down a large chute to be stacked in the rapidly-filling freezer hold, one level below the factory. "So this is where all that fish we offloaded yesterday came from," Pegasus called down to the two men in the factory hold. "It's like the circle of life."

"Circle of fish," one of the guys snickered.

"Exactly!" Pegasus said. "And now we go back to slitting fish throats!"

Kaiba just shook his head.

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They had just started their fifth cycle when Tali came by the bleeding station. "You guys are doing pretty good for your first day."

Kaiba nodded curtly but kept working.

"Since you've put in a full shift, you can stop now if you want. Go to the galley, eat something if you think it'll stay down, hang out, or just get some extra sleep."

"Isn't it past _your_ bedtime?" Pegasus asked, glancing at the clock. "It's almost nine."

"Yeah, I stayed a while extra so we wouldn't fall behind." He held up his hand, which was wrapped with a bandage. "But I just cut myself, so I guess it's time for a nap."

"How long have you been awake?" Pegasus asked.

"Oh … 'bout fifty hours. Not sure."

"Is anyone else quitting now?" Pegasus asked.

"Dunno." Tali shugged.

"I'll keep going until the midnight crew arrives." Kaiba bared his teeth and slit a fish without looking. There was a long streak of dried blood on his face.

"Well, so will I then," Pegasus said.

"Okay." Tali nodded. "I appreciate it. I'll come get you guys in the morning, around eight. You'll be on main deck tomorrow. You'll like it. Pulling the nets is more fun than the factory. Air's fresher too. That's why we alternate." He swayed a little.

"Go off and get some sleep!" Pegasus ordered him, and Tali grinned and shambled off.

"So you're really staying?" Pegasus asked as Kaiba wiped the bleeding knife on his sweatshirt sleeve, snicked it back into the rack, and then brushed past Pegasus toward the gutting station.

"Fine." Pegasus squared his shoulders and followed. "Showoff."

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"Good morning! You two alive or dead?" As always, Tali was cheerful.

"Dead," growled Kaiba. He didn't move.

Pegasus eased down from the top bunk with a groan. "I haven't been this sore since the polo team competed in the finals."

"Polo?" Tali asked. "The pool kind or the horses kind?"

"Sport of spoiled brats," Kaiba muttered.

As Pegasus gathered up his crusty-but-mostly dry work clothes and limped into the bathroom to change, Kaiba threw back his blanket and swung his legs over the side of the bunk, rolling his stiff neck. He wore only underwear.

"Too tired to put anything on last night?" Tali said. "I've done that a lot. At least you remembered to hang your work set out."

Kaiba looked around the room, as if surprised to see his clothes draped over the heater. "Hn."

"You don't seem to be so sick today. You must be getting your sea legs, that's good."

Kaiba nodded, touching the patch behind his ear. Hearing Pegasus finishing up, he snatched up his clothes and stood by the bathroom door, darting in as soon as the older man came out.

"Guess he had urgent business," Tali said to Pegasus. "Oh! I found this, in case you wanna use it for your hair." He held out a battered rubber band.

"Thank you," Pegasus said, pulling his hair back. "I've been meaning to ask if there's a shower on board? I just don't feel myself without showering in the morning."

"Shower? Heh, that's what we call sticking your head under the faucet." Tali grinned. "Sorry."

"I see." Pegasus looked both amused and crestfallen. "Well, if there's nothing to be done …" He shrugged. "What's on the agenda for us today? Oh, that's right, we go up on deck and help with the nets. Will you be teaching us how to do that?"

"Naw, I been decking since midnight, 'bout ready to switch over to factory supervising for the rest of the day." Tali suddenly looked uncomfortable, an expression that seemed out-of-place for him. "And .. well … for some reason Ted doesn't want you guys working on deck. I dunno why, but … well, anyhow, Captain Lloyd said you could visit the bridge after you eat, if you want. The nav computers are pretty cool, maybe Kino can take notes for your book. After that, if you get really bored, you can come down and squeeze cod stomachs."

The bathroom door opened a little and Kaiba's face appeared. "Computers?"

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The galley was a tiny, brightly lit room, crammed with a miniscule kitchen and dining area. Everything was either in a latched drawer, bolted down, strapped down, or – in the case of the stove – surrounded by guardrails. At one table two men sat hunched over a tiny checkers game while a third gnawed on what looked like a brownish bone.

"Eggs and ribs," the cook called to them. "Grab a plate and bring it over here for fillin', I ain't no waiter."

The bone-gnawer stared at Pegasus as he squeezed by their table to get some food, and then nudged the other two, as if a man with an eyepatch and a silver ponytail wasn't a common sight.

Pegasus took his filled plate from the cook and then returned to his the empty table that Kaiba had claimed. "I hung up your wet clothes last night after you did your strip tease and crawled into bed," he said quietly as he sat down.

In response Kaiba, who was looking at Pegasus' plate of eggs and ribs as if it contained cod stomach contents, took a cookie from a plastic tray and slid it across the table to him.

"Very funny. You're not eating?"

Kaiba shook his head.

"Probably wise not to push it. Me, I'm _famished_. I haven't eaten since the flight up here. And if I do say so myself, we worked extraordinarily hard yesterday." He forked up some eggs and began to chew enthusiastically.

Kaiba watched with a faint smirk as Pegasus's expression went from anticipation to realization to revulsion.

"That's – " Pegasus swallowed and gulped a bottled water.

"Real people food," Kaiba said. "Fried in grease. Aren't you American?"

Pegasus scowled and forced himself to eat another mouthful, then attacked the ribs. These he devoured down to the bone: he even then went back to the cook for seconds. "You should try these," he said as he sat down. "Eating one is very satisfying, on a primal level. It's almost … _atavistic_."

"Planning on cracking the bones and sucking the marrow out?" Kaiba asked. "A caveman would."

"Very funny." Pegasus licked his fingers.

There was some low laughter from the other table, and then one of the men leaned to one side and asked them, "Any you wanna play something?"

Pegasus turned to them. "Certainly! Sounds fun. What do you have in mind?"

"Mmm... checkers, chess, Scrabble. Got cards for poker or euchre. Some other stuff in the drawer."

"Oh, chess?" Pegasus turned back to Kaiba. "You play chess, right?"

"I'm not going to – " Kaiba started to say.

"_Ordinary people,_" Pegasus said under his breath.

Kaiba narrowed his eyes and glared at Pegasus as he addressed the other table. " – _eat_, so of course I have time for a game."

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Fifteen minutes later, as they climbed the ladder from the deck to the bridge, Pegasus was shaking his head. "That wasn't a wise move."

"_None_ of them were. Hardly surprising, considering his obvious inability to understand even the most basic rules of the game." Kaiba was almost indignant. "He was moving pieces at random, from what I could tell."

"I meant you."

"Me?"

"All those insulting things you said – you've now antagonized three people we have to work with for the next 10 days. The cook didn't look like he thought much of you either."

Kaiba folded his arms. "Hn."

Compared to the rest of the ship, the bridge was unexpectedly elegant, with polished wood and soft lighting. The windows gave a 360-degree view of the sea, a dark gray plain broken here and there by distant masts.

Captain Lloyd had been talking to the navigator as they climbed the ladder to the bridge, but as soon as he saw them he hurried over, smoothing his beard. "Oh, Mister Paris, hello! Would you like to sit? In the Captain's chair?"

"Well, that depends whether the Captain's in it or not," Pegasus said coyly.

"Ooo, go on now!" he guffawed. "Such a cut-up you are!"

"Interesting." Kaiba was standing at the row of computer screens that ran along the forward wall of the bridge just below the windows. Most of the screens showed complex patterns of squiggly green lines dotted with dozens of various colored circles, squares, triangles and fish shapes. One showed a v-shaped outline slowly "filling" from the narrow end, while another was a standard radar sweep, and a small one on the end – near were Pegasus lounged in a high-backed leather swivel chair – had a spreadsheet page. "All of this is for fishing?"

"Aye, we track schools by sonar, and the echo-location bobs on the nets let us know what and how much we're catching."

"Some of these objects are other ships are in the area?" Kaiba asked.

Captain Lloyd nodded. "That's right. The radar – hold on!" He rushed to the window, and took binoculars from a hook.

"It just started a few seconds ago," Pegasus said, referring to a faint line of white rising perpendicular to the horizon. "What is it? A storm? One of those sea cyclones? A waterspout?" He looked eager.

"No, mostly likely a ship on fire," Captain Lloyd said as he studied the sight through his binoculars. "We're the only ship close, but our net's too full to steam over there." He handed the binoculars to Kaiba, then told the navigator, "Tell them we're standing by to assist." He then hurried to call orders down to the deck crew while the navigator radioed the ship in distress, asking if they needed assistance, letting them know that the _Mermaid_ was readying a runabout with crew and firefighting equipment.

"Should we leave? Are we in the way here? Is there anything we can do to help?" Pegasus wrung his hands.

"No, no," Lloyd reassured him. "Ted's boys know how to handle this, and you're more out of their way up here."

Kaiba studied the faint, feathery smoke. "I don't see any flames."

"Might not, if it broke out below-decks," Captain Lloyd said.

"Is this frequent?" Kaiba asked. "Shipboard fires?"

"Depends on the ship," Captain Lloyd said. "Some of the foreign independents don't do inspections or upgrade their safety equipment as often as we do. This one's lucky we were in the vicinity, since they usually trawl the smaller, more out-of-the-way schools."

Kaiba moved to an aft window to watch the crew members on the deck loading boxes and long red canisters that looked like oversized fire extinguishers onto a large motorboat, but after a moment it was a figure hurrying _away_ from the action that caught his eye. Someone had gone to the edge of the hatch to the lower decks, had taken something from the tall skinny freezer hold crew member everyone called Ski Mask, and was now hurrying back to the motorboat.

Somehow, something about it seemed … _furtive_. Sneaky.

Kaiba moved to a different window to get a better look at what the mystery crew member was carrying. Just before they went out of sight behind one of the huge rolled nets they stopped and turned, giving Kaiba a good look at the object – a small cardboard box labeled _Pressure Sensitive Adhesive Tape – 48 Count Rolls_ – and the carrier – Ted – before hurrying out of sight behind the net.

As the motorboat sped toward the burning ship, Kaiba lowered the binoculars and asked no one in particular, "Why bring a box of packing tape to a fire?"

"Tape? What's that yer sayin" ?" Captain Lloyd asked. He, Pegasus, and the navigator were all looking at Kaiba.

'Ted," Kaiba said. "He brought a box of tape from the freezer hold to the runabout."

"Well," The Captain said, puzzled, "It couldna been tape. Must have been something else he thought they'd need, I suppose?"

"I see." Kaiba handed the binoculars back the Captain.

An anxious forty minutes minutes later, the smoke had disappeared, the runabout returned to the _Mermaid's Boon,_ and Ted reported to the bridge. "Wasn't that bad. Their fish meal grinder had a short, and you know how that stuff can smolder. After the fire was out Pooji inspected their processing deck, and I looked over their freezer. Minimal damage, from what we could see. They're still seaworthy."

"Well, good job all 'round!" Captain Lloyd clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm sure they appreciated your help."

"They did, sir. They most definitely did."

Ted turned to leave the bridge, pausing to ask Kaiba, "Taking notes for Mister Paris' book? See anything interesting?"

"Yes," Kaiba answered. "Yes, I have."

Ted gave him a small, tight smile.

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The rest of the day passed uneventfully. The Captain invited Pegasus to stay on the bridge as long as he liked, and rather than listen to their banter Kaiba went down to the factory. Tali was impressed enough by this work ethic that he taught Kaiba how to gut and filet, training that Kaiba accepted for the bragging possibilities it would give him over Pegasus.

When he returned to their room he found Pegasus already in the top bunk, reading a battered paperback titled _The Wolf and the Dove. _"Gavin lent it to me," Pegasus said, keeping his place with his finger while studying the lurid cover art with disapproval. "A spirited, resourceful Saxon maiden and the surly, arrogant Norman invader who claims her body and unsuccessfully fights falling in love with her."

Kaiba scoffed as he went into the bathroom to wash up.

"It's not that badly written," Pegasus said as he resumed reading. "And I will say that the author certainly understands that Love – whether true or not – rarely obeys Reason." He waited until Kaiba came out of the bathroom, hung up his work clothes, and then crawled into the bottom bunk to ask, "How many times have you been in love, Kaiba-boy?"

There was a long silence, and then a gruff, "A waste of time."

"Love? Or this discussion?" When Kaiba didn't reply Pegasus hung over the edge of his bunk to peer down at the brunet. "You're not telling that that you've never been in love! But you're twenty-one! What are you waiting for?"

Kaiba glared at him, then rolled onto his side and pulled the blanket over his head.

Pegasus took the hint, went back to his romance, and pried no more.

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The next morning, their third day at sea and the _Mermaid's_ final day of fishing before returning to port to offload the catch, both Kaiba and Pegasus were hungry enough to brave the galley again before starting work. The morning's offerings were oatmeal and chicken-fried steak with gravy, and they had just started on bowls of the former – the latter too frightening even for Pegasus to attempt – when Tali came through the galley door.

"Hey, here you are," he said. "I was talking to Ted about how hard you guys have been working in the factory, and he was pretty impressed. He said that since you've proved yourselves, he'll give you a tour of the deck today. In case you want to take notes for the book."

"Oh? Aren't we supposed to work in the factory today?" Pegasus asked.

Tali nodded. "Normally you would have, but since we had a couple of really big catches overnight that put us at target weight we're starting back early. Deck crew usually works processing on the way back, so we'll have more than enough people at all the stations."

"Alright then! Something new!" Pegasus said with enthusiasm, ignoring Kaiba's frown.

"Ted said to chill in the Captain's quarters, and he'll send Ski Mask to get you."

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Pegasus was almost done with his book by the time Ski Mask came by.

"Finally," Kaiba said. Pegasus had insisted on reading the more lurid passages of the book aloud. Most of these featured creamy thighs, lips crushing together, and towering heights of passion, but it was Pegasus' dramatic voicing of the amorous talk that had Kaiba close to apoplexy.

"Cap'n says Mister Paris should swing by the bridge first."

"Alright, we will," Pegasus said.

"Er, just you sir," Ski Mask said. It was hard to tell from his tone of voice if he was smirking under his mask or not.

"I'll start taking the notes," Kaiba said. "Get there when you can."

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"Are you _sure_ I should be standing exactly here?" Kaiba squinted up at the huge ball of rolled net that Ted was lowering to the deck with a motorized crane arm. "It's going to hit me when it comes down." He and Ted seemed to be the only two crew members on the main deck, the rest having gone below to finish processing the fish in the holding tanks, and from where he stood, at the stern of the main deck, he couldn't see the windows of the bridge, which though high above the deck were for the most part obscured by cranes and the enormous capstans and winches used to haul in the nets.

"Now, who's been doin' this for twenty years, you or me?" Ted asked.

"You're the expert, I suppose," Kaiba said.

And then the net fell on him.

"What the hell?" he struggled, but the enormous roll of net was so heavy that he was pinned to the deck from the waist down.

Ted hopped down from the crane.

"Get this thing off of me!"

Ted squatted, squinting as he looked around the deserted deck. "Well, you see I think you and me could have a little talk first. Because you may have fooled Lloyd and Tali, but you ain't fooled me."

"What the hell?"

"See, I know Little Sammy," Ted said, picking at some food between his teeth. "He'd never send me a couple of puking landies. He'd sooner send me nothin'."

"We're just here to work," Kaiba said, wincing.

Ted sucked in a breath, shaking his head, "Now see, I just can't believe that. I got this gut feeling." Ted looked up as Ski Mask came up from the crew quarters. "Anything?"

Ski Mask handed something to Ted.

"Well, now," Ted looked down. "Seto Kaiba and Maximillion Crawford. Those are even stupider names than the fake ones you gave us at the dock."

Just then Pegasus came hurrying across the deck. "I can't believe it! The Captain actually – wait, what's going on here?"

"And here's Mister Crawford, right on time," Ted said. "Kneel down and put your hands on your head. Do anything stupid and I'll shoot your – _assistant_."

"Crawford? Who's Crawford? I have no idea what – "

Ted pulled a small gun from his coat pocket.

"They went through our bags," Kaiba said as Pegasus knelt on the deck. "Ted has our identifications."

Ted ordered Pegasus, "Take off your coat and shirt, Princess."

_"What?"_

Ted pointed the gun at Kaiba and raised an eyebrow.

Pegasus quickly removed his coat, hooded sweatshirt, and a long sleeved thermal undershirt, revealing the small greenish black transmitter which he'd placed over his heart.

Ski Mask pulled it off with an audible rip, and handed it it to Ted as an already-shivering Pegasus hurriedly re-dressed.

"I suppose you've got one too?" Ted asked Kaiba. "You wanna give it to me, or should I have Ski get it?"

When Kaiba didn't respond, Ted said, "You know, people can survive an awful long time after being shot, if you know where to shoot 'em." He pointed the gun at Pegasus.

With a scowl Kaiba pulled off a glove, burrowed his hand under his clothing, and a moment later tossed his own transmitter on the deck.

"So what are you guys? Feds?" Ted asked, peering at the transmitter. "These things seem too high tech for the puddlers."

"Puddlers?" Pegasus asked.

Kaiba laughed. "What, you think we're some sort of Coast Guard investigators? So ridiculous. Haven't you ever seen a heart monitor before? That's all those are. Measures pulse and blood pressure during workouts."

Ted shook his head. "Nice try."

"Whatever you do, don't fold it in half," Pegasus warned.

"Why? What'll happen?"

"Helicopters will come to pick us up," Kaiba said. "And a television crew."

"Smartass. You think I'm stupid enough to fall for a trick like that?" Ted put the transmitters in his pocket. "Anyhow, they can only pick you up if they find you," he said.

"I can see why you're the brains of the operation," Kaiba said.

Ted grinned. "Now, I didn't see it happen, but my guess is that you had an accident and fell off the boat. Due to disregarding the safety precautions on the main deck, which I told you about, many times. I ran to the captain as soon as I noticed you were gone, but sadly, we didn't find your bodies." He made a face of mock-sorrow. "I blame myself."

"So you'll toss us overboard?" Kaiba started laughing. "You do that, Deck Foreman. Go right ahead."

"What's so funny?" When Kaiba didn't answer, Ted nodded to Ski Mask, who kicked Pegasus in the back. Pegasus fell forward, making small pained noises.

"Bad idea, Ted," Kaiba said. "Never hit a man who's been chipped."

"Chipped?"

"You've heard of it? Usually rich people do it for dogs," Kaiba said, "but it was part of a restraining order against Crawford there. It's cheaper than an ankle cuff, and non–removable." Kaiba waited a moment for this to sink in. "You better just hope his chip wasn't implanted wherever Ski Mask just kicked him, because if the signal stops they'll trace it to this boat's location."

"A chip, huh?" Ted looked worried.

"We could grind them up," Ski Mask offered.

Ted shook his head. "Fish grinder can't handle bones that big." He looked sternward, toward the wake of churning water behind the ship. "Go get the _'maid's_ left tit. We'll set 'em out: Slope current'll take care of it. We kin tell the Cap'n boat was lost in the rescue."

A few minutes later, with Pegasus' reluctant help, Ski Mask had lowered a small rowboat down to the deck and onto the large metal plate that was used as a ramp to ease nets in and out of the water without damage. Ski Mask motioned to Pegasus. "Git in."

"What are you going to do to Kaiba?" Pegasus asked as he sat down in the boat.

"Well, I'm gonna let him get into the boat with you, Princess." Ted jerked his head, and Ski Mask climbed onto the crane, lifting the mass of net off Kaiba's legs.

"Move it." Ted motioned with the gun.

As Kaiba stumbled across the deck and climbed painfully into the boat, Pegasus said angrily, "You'll never get away with this, you know. No matter where our bodies wash up it'll still lead them right back to you."

"Wash up?" Ted laughed, then coughed and spit. "Sweetie, you ain't gonna wash up nowhere. Middle of the Bering Sea, sooner or later that little boat's gonna sink, and then ain't no one gonna find anything. Bottom's two, three miles down."

"That's 3,700 meters," Pegasus told Kaiba.

"I can do the math," Kaiba hissed.

"I'm so sorry," Pegasus said, clutching his head. "This _never _would have happened if I'd let you stop us from boarding the wrong boat!"

"You two on the wrong boat? Well, that's some shit luck, then," Ted called down to them. "Now I feel kinda bad for ya. Here's what I'll do – so you boys won't be out there without any food!" He opened a tool locker, took out a fishing pole, and tossed it to Kaiba with a derisive laugh. "There ya go." Then he nodded to Ski Mask, who pulled a switch to slowly angle the plate down toward the water.

Pegasus and Kaiba grabbed onto the sides of the boat. There was a grinding sound as the boat began to slide; then the plate tilted more, the boat slid into the water, and soon the _Mermaid's Boon_ left them behind.

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_~ to be continued ~_

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First, thank you once again to my beta **Rroselavy**, who found time in an insanely busy schedule to read this monster, and to **Dark Rabbit** and **Stinger107**, who brought up good points and made useful suggestions. Y'all are the best!

I again drew heavily from the "Floating Fish Factory" episode of Mike Rowe's _Dirty Jobs_, but I also made up some stuff. Any errors of verisimilitude are my fault.

The book Pegasus is reading is real. _The Wolf and the Dove_, by Kathleen Woodiwiss, is a classic of the historical "tempestuous romance" genre.

A nicely done site with information about the depths and currents of the Bering Sea is here:

www. Pmel. Noaa. Gov/ np/ pages/ seas/ bseamap5. html

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(05) 4 Oct 2014 ~ minor cleanup


	4. A Conversation Adrift

Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

Description: Two CEOs. Two weeks. One bet. Can Pegasus and Kaiba handle being ordinary people? CHAPTER FOUR: Pegasus talks, Kaiba scowls, confessions are made, secrets are revealed. Oh, and a children's card game is discussed.

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><p><strong>World's Worst, Chapter 4: A Conversation Adrift<strong>  
><em>by Animom<em>

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><p>.<p>

Throughout the ages the sea – vast, changeable, bursting with life – has been viewed as a deeply spiritual place. Water is so essential to existence that many cultures saw the ocean as the birthplace of the Goddess of Love or the primal Mother, even though her rippling expanse is also a place of terror and violent storms and silent death.

The two men adrift in a small boat in the Bering Sea had no appreciation of the mystical properties of the waves: no, they were more concerned with the "terror and silent death" aspect, as not only did no ship's masts poke up from the horizon, but any airplanes flying above were hidden by the overcast sky. The probability of rescue seemed close to zero.

The only positive thing that could be said was that it was unseasonably warm.

"Oh god." Pegasus, his arms crossed over his chest, was rocking forward and back. "It's all my fault. I _knew_ we were getting on the wrong boat. If I had let you say so we wouldn't be out here. Now we're going to … "

Kaiba, who hadn't looked at or spoken to Pegasus since they'd been put off the _Mermaid, _sat at the prow of the boat constantly scanning the horizon. His silence was a frosty reprimand.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Kaiba-boy, we're _marooned_." Pegasus addressed Kaiba's back, defensiveness making his voice sharp. "They'll believe Ted's story, and won't even _look_ for us. _Ever._ All we can do is wait for _death_ out here, for our corpses to rot in the dark at the bottom of the cold sea. No one will ever know what happened to us. None of that bothers you _at all?"_

Kaiba didn't reply.

Pegasus took a deep breath, cleared his throat, and then folded his arms more tightly, hugging himself. "Suit yourself. You're not the only one who can give out the silent treatment!"

.

The light gray cloud cover overhead had become noticeably darker before Pegasus spoke again.

"I wish I'd worn my wristwatch. I'd like to know what time it is. I'm terrible at judging such things. It seems like it's late afternoon." He hunched over, frowning: Kaiba still hadn't turned around. "Are you frozen in place over there, Kaiba-boy?" Pegasus peered at the sky. "I suppose that it will get colder at night." He leaned to look over the side of the boat. "You know, it might be my imagination, but I think we're in a current or something. Maybe it'll carry us to an island soon?" He had the desperate intensity of someone without dry wood, matches, or tinder trying to start a fire by twirling a stick in a log. "I know Ted said the current flows to deeper water, but he might have said that just to be mean." Pegasus gasped with a sudden thought. "I'll bet that's it! After all, he had a gun – he could have just shot us if he wanted us dead, right?"

Pegasus watched hopefully as Kaiba shifted his position at the prow of the boat, turning enough to sit sideways, but as Kaiba folded his arms and stared straight ahead it was clear that he was going to continue to ignore Pegasus' conversational gambits.

"So what do you think he'll tell the Captain?" Pegasus asked, soldering on. "I suppose he'll pretend to be concerned about us, and make a big show of spending a lot of time looking all over the ship for us. I wonder how long it will take for someone to notice that the lifeboat is gone." He paused, tugging on the drawstring of his hooded sweatshirt. "Do you think they'll turn the _Mermaid_ around and come back to look for us? Or will they just radio for help?"

Kaiba sat as still as a stone.

"Kaiba?" Pegasus asked. "Are you ever going to talk to me?"

Nothing.

Pegasus sighed, exasperated, then said, "All right, since you're probably curious … I'll tell you why I got on, even though I knew it was the wrong boat. It was mostly because the Captain and Tali were so welcoming. I didn't think any harm could come of going along with such people."

"Will you just _SHUT THE FUCK UP?_" Kaiba was still staring out to sea.

Pegasus, startled, said, "I'm just trying to help pass the time." He laughed nervously. "The way you've been sitting there, so … so _calm … _it's almost inhuman."

Kaiba gave him a sideways glance. "Is blubbering endlessly human? Then yes, I choose to be inhuman."

"Maybe it would be best," Pegasus said softly, looking out over the slate-gray waves, "if we both just got it over with, instead of waiting for thirst or cold or drowning – "

"And the rest of the reason?" Kaiba asked abruptly.

"Reason?" Pegasus pulled away from his reverie.

"That you got on the boat?"

"It's silly, really," Pegasus said, latching onto the conversational flotsam. "Very silly. I liked the _name_ better."

"The _name_?" Kaiba asked with irritated disbelief.

"Yes, well," Pegasus, embarrassed, avoided Kaiba's scorn. "You can't argue that _Mermaid's Boon_ sounds ... more enjoyable than _The Stygian_. I mean, Stygian? A ship named after a river of death? I can't _imagine_ what Croquet was thinking when he booked us there."

"Booked?"

"Booked, arranged, whatever. You know what I meant," Pegasus snapped back. "Call it what you will, the phrase 'mermaid's boon' brings pleasant things to mind … Lovely songs. Soft breasts. Languorous seduction."

"Swift death."

"Oh. Hmm … I suppose you have a point." Pegasus frowned. "Well, if so, then it's a _horrible_ name for a boat. As horrible as _The Stygian_. What is _wrong_ with these people? Mermaids are beautiful! Well, mine are at least. Rainbow Marine Mermaid, Guardian Kay'est, Red Archery Girl … " He perked up. "Did you ever have any of my mermaids in your deck?"

Kaiba scoffed. "Of course not."

"Oh, don't _of course not_ me, Kaiba-boy. Some of my mermaid cards are quite powerful. Granted, not at a Blue Eyes level, but you know very well that even small cards have their purposes. After all, even your deck had three star Saggi." Pegasus became silent then: it didn't take a mind-reader to guess that both he and Kaiba were recalling that a resurrected Saggi had been the card that Kaiba had played as his last, desperate move the day that he lost his soul to Pegasus at Duelist Kingdom.

Not a happy or proud memory for either of them.

Pegasus bit his lip, then brightened as something occurred to him. "Wait a minute! You boarded the _Mermaid_ without protest as well. What was _your_ reason?" Pegasus then added, as if to himself, "Other than to be able to say_ I told you so_ to me later. Which I admit you haven't actually done."

"Because there was a chance that it was a neutral boat."

"Neutral?"

"Less likely to have pre-loaded advantages."

"Pre-loaded – what on earth are you talking about?" Pegasus was confused.

Impatiently, Kaiba explained, "I assumed that Croquet would have stocked _The Stygian_ with as many luxuries as he could."

"Yes, that would have been _just_ like him, to try to make it easier for me," Pegasus said wistfully. "I really have taken him for granted." He frowned. "Wait a minute – why would that have been a bad thing? Some bottles of a good Beaujolais to share with our crew-mates?"

"As usual, you pretend to be naïve or stupid to escape responsibility for your actions."

"Do I?" Pegasus was the very picture of innocence.

"The principle of our wager was to take away your luxuries and my technology. Croquet would have tried give you an unfair advantage. Keeping you sated would help ensure that you didn't drop out."

Pegasus shook his head. "Well, if he did do any of that, it was against my wishes. I know you won't believe me, but I was actually very cross when I found the seasick patches he'd hidden in my spare set of clothing. If I hadn't been so queasy, I wouldn't have used them. But that's why I made sure that you used one too."

"Hn."

"I even forbid Croquet from telling me any details about the job before the contracts were signed," Pegasus said smugly. "I very _firmly_ told him that I wanted you and I to be on equal footing."

"Really?" Kaiba asked, his doubt obvious. "Why?"

"I wanted to win fairly," Pegasus said. "Ever since – the Eye was taken from me I've realized how much its gifts tempted me to do … appalling things. I've tried to get back to who I was before I had it."

"Your speeches don't work on me," Kaiba said mildly.

"Well, I'm deeply – " Pegasus said, and then audibly switched gears. "Wait – you said that you thought the _Mermaid_ 'might' be a neutral boat. Are you telling me you thought _it_ was a setup too?"

"Of course," Kaiba said simply. "It wasn't believable as a chance encounter. That they _happened_ to be on that otherwise deserted dock at the same time as we arrived? That they needed two crew members?"

"I swear it wasn't," Pegasus said earnestly.

Kaiba shrugged.

"So," Pegasus looked down at his gloved hands. "Did Roland do anything for you?"

Kaiba squinted out at the sea for a few minutes, but then pulled up one leg of his orange overall, dug down inside his boot, and finally handed Pegasus a small Swiss Army knife. "A 16G flash drive, knife, nail file, scissors, pen, and screwdriver. Useless."

"Oh, but not _this_." Pegasus had found a tiny button that turned on a tiny flashlight.

"Be serious."

Pegasus held up a finger. "I am _entirely_ serious. Did you know that in total darkness the human eye can see a lit match from a quarter of a mile away? This little light is _much_ brighter than that."

"How do you know this … absurd fact?"

"It was part of my training."

"Art school?" Kaiba scoffed.

"Boy Scouts. Wilderness Survival."

"You were in the Boy Scouts?"

"Yes, I was." Pegasus sniffed. "What's wrong with that? My great-grandfather knew W.D. Boyce, and all the Crawford boys have been Scouts since then. I was a Tiger Cub when I was six, and got my last Eagle Palm right before I proposed to Cynthia."

"Hn. I wouldn't have guessed that." Kaiba pulled his pant-leg back over his boot, and said while his head was down, "Mokuba always wanted to join ..."

Pegasus watched him, then said suddenly, "Oh! I know what we can do!"

"What?" The softness was gone as Kaiba raised his head.

"Now, I know you might not agree," Pegasus said as he pulled off a glove, "but the way I see it, our options are so limited there isn't really much else we _can_ do at this point."

"What do you mean?" Kaiba asked.

"If we can figure out the mechanics," Pegasus said, unfastening the suspenders of his overalls, "it'll be worth it. We don't really have the proper supplies, but, well, I've been circling around the idea for hours and I think I know how we can manage it."

"Supplies?" Kaiba was staring at Pegasus.

"Can you help take this off?" Pegasus asked. "I'm afraid if I stand up I'll lose my balance and spill us out into the water."

"What?"

"I suppose I can do it myself," Pegasus muttered, slipping from his seat to kneel in the boat so that he could push the bright orange plastic overall down to his knees. "Not that I relish losing my waterproof layer, but it's not as cold out here as it was on the ship."

"The ship was refrigerated," Kaiba said in a daze, watching as Pegasus sat back down and pulled the overall off over his boots. "To keep the fish fresher."

"Yes, of course," Pegasus said. "I should have taken that into account. Well, I think my blue jeans and thermal underwear will be quite adequate at keeping me warm – and even if not, the payoff ought to be worth the discomfort, don't you think?" He shook the orange overall out, then caught sight of Kaiba's expression. "What's wrong?"

"You're talking about mechanics ... and supplies …. and taking off your clothes … "

Pegasus was taken aback, and then he laughed. "Oh, you thought I was going to suggest we … ? Where _do_ you get such ideas?" He dipped his head, batting his lashes. "You know, Kaiba-boy," he said in a drippingly lascivious purr, "If I didn't know you so well, from the frequency you seem to worry about the possibility of the two of us _in flagrante dilecto,_ I'd think that you had a crush on me. Do I feature in your fantasies often?"

"Me? That's … idiotic!" Kaiba's cheeks were pinking, an unusual sight. "It's … the way you've always talked and looked at me! What else was I supposed to think?"

"That I enjoy baiting you?"

Kaiba looked stunned.

"Never occurred to you, hmmm?"

"N-no."

"You're the only one I can play with this way, Kaiba, because I know you'll never take it seriously. The other young men and women I know – I need to be very circumspect. I'd hate to hurt their feelings and lose their business. But you – well, except for your brother, it's true what our people said. You truly are more at ease with things than with people."

Kaiba said in a small, tight voice, "I see."

"Don't tell me you're offended?" Pegasus seemed to regret his harsh words.

"Of course not." Kaiba looked up, and for just a moment he was not an aloof, acid-tongued, twenty-something company president and inventor, but a small, hurt, abandoned child. "You forgot to mention rude and emotionless and obsessed with winning."

"I see you heard that part too. I didn't think you were paying attention." Pegasus tilted his head and tried to smile comfortingly. "Then you also heard the part where they said **I** was spoiled and self-centered and frivolous and needed to be the center of attention at all times? Would you agree with that?" When Kaiba looked away, Pegasus nodded, "I'll take that as a 'yes.' See, that's why we're perfect together. Who else would put up with us? Without being paid an exorbitant salary, that is." Pegasus draped the orange overall across his knees, smoothing invisible wrinkles. "Ever since Cynthia died … when it's too quiet, when I slow down and stop to think, the emptiness becomes unbearable. So yes, it's selfish, but I just ... I just prefer to surround myself with," he waved his hands, searching for words, "with _distractions_. Music and color and projects and people_."_

"And I'm a convenient distraction?"

"Honestly? Yes, in part, but it's not just that," Pegasus said earnestly. "Everyone needs to have fun. You most of all, Kaiba. I had a wonderful childhood with a family that loved me, but you barely had parents – that horrible Gozaburo person certainly didn't count. I can't imagine he ever said a kind word, much less hugged you. Even worse, you took on adult responsibilities so early that it cut you off from so much."

Kaiba looked away. "So I'm a pity-driven 'project' as well."

"You're missing the point," Pegasus said, exasperated. "I have genuine affection for you. I like to think we even have a friendship, of sorts." Pegasus studied Kaiba shrewdly. "And here I thought you wouldn't understand authentic human emotions unless you were stripped naked and eviscerated in front of thousands."

"Now who's fantasizing?" Kaiba said dryly.

"Oh, un_believable!"_ Pegasus said in mock horror. "All those people who say you are humorless are _clearly_ wrong." As Kaiba glowered Pegasus continued, "Now, do you want to know why I was taking these hideous orange pants off or not?"

.

As it turned out, once Pegasus explained his idea Kaiba grudgingly admitted it was a good one. The orange overall, tied shut at the ankle and sewn to the fishing pole, would make a fairly large and hopefully noticeable signaling flag if any ships or airplanes ventured near once it got light again. They used Kaiba's knife to poke small holes in the waistband of the overall's rip-proof waterproof fabric, through which they threaded the fishing line

By the time they were done it was nearly dark and so they laid the "flag" carefully on the bottom of the boat. The wind had picked up enough that the waves rocked the boat more energetically, and Kaiba's teeth began chattering.

Pegasus patted his thighs. "Come here. Sit on my lap, facing me. It's the best way to conserve core body temperature."

Kaiba harrumphed.

"Now, we've been over that, Kaiba boy. Wilderness Survival badges, not interested in bedding you, ectera, ectera. It's the least you can do, after I sacrificed my pants for our rescue."

Scowling, Kaiba edged over, then straddled and gingerly sat on Pegasus' lap.

"Keep your hands in between us, or in your armpits," Pegasus ordered. "It's probably not cold enough to worry about frostbite, but those are valuable assets." He put his arms around Kaiba. "Come now, scoot toward me. The closer we sit, the warmer we'll be."

"Anything to cop a feel," Kaiba muttered as he complied, but there was very little venom in his tone.

.

Hours passed, in silence, each alone with their thoughts. The wind and waves gradually subsided, but without those faint sounds the vast starless dark around them began to press in.

"It's so frightening it's beautiful, isn't it, Kaiba-boy?" Pegasus said softly. "Or maybe so beautiful it's terrifying. I'm not sure which." Kaiba had relaxed enough – or become sleepy enough – to lean against him. Pegasus found this oddly comforting.

"What good does admitting it do?" Kaiba murmured into the side of Pegasus' sweatshirt hood.

Pegasus smiled, understanding that this was as close to an admission of fear as Kaiba would ever make. "It lightens things a little, perhaps?"

"I bent it," Kaiba said suddenly. "But no one's come."

"Bent what?" Pegasus asked gently.

"The transmitter." Kaiba was mumbling. "When I took it off. Must not have been enough to trigger the signal."

"Oh," Pegasus said. "So I guess that means I won? Since you conceded."

This woke Kaiba up. "No, I only did it because losing seemed preferable to death."

Pegasus chuckled, "Words I never thought I hear _you_ say, Kaiba-boy." He squeezed his hand, making sure that the knife with its tiny flashlight was still in his grip in case they saw any lights in the blackness. "That was clever of you, though. Improvising that way. I wish I'd thought to bend mine. Though that masked flunky snatched it away so fast I wouldn't have had a chance." Pegasus shifted his feet: his legs were numb from Kaiba's weight. "I was more worried about why they were making me take my shirt off. I was afraid that they were going to flog me."

"Flog?"

"Melville," Pegasus explained. "Didn't you ever read _Billy Budd_?"

.

"I'm not sure, but I think it's getting lighter."

Kaiba made a soft sound of assent. "Nights are short this close to the Arctic Circle."

"I hope a ship comes by soon. I'm looking forward to testing the flag pants. Or are they a pants-flag?"

"Either." Kaiba took a deep breath, sat up straight. "No one will come."

"I know," Pegasus said, "but I've convinced myself that it's a good way to go. Romantic, even. Marooned at sea by pirates. Dying with my best friend." He added mischievously, "Dying in each others arms."

"Stop that," Kaiba said mildly, and eased off Pegasus's lap. "I'm your best friend?"

"Well of course," Pegasus said. "Weren't you paying attention earlier? I have thousands of acquaintances, know hundreds of business people like Ryuuji and my _schöne deutsche Junge_ and my staff, but I count only you and Ishizu as friends. But she's always been so far away, and always had so much to handle …" He sighed. "I have to admit, I hoped for a while that you and she would become a couple."

"What?" Kaiba had pulled off a glove and was rubbing his eyes. "That doesn't make sense."

"Why not? She's intelligent, beautiful, graceful, and knows how to handle difficult men. I always thought she'd be perfect for you."

Kaiba laughed soundlessly, faint vapor puffing between his lips. "You're insane."

"You never thought of her that way?"

Kaiba shook his head. "No, I've never thought of her … in whatever way you mean."

"I can't fathom that you don't find Ishizu attractive." Pegasus made a _tsk-tsk_ sound. "Kaiba, Kaiba, Kaiba ... you really are an anomaly. Have you ever thought of _anyone_ that way?"

"Not particularly."

"Why ever not?"

"Such things … don't interest me. I have a business to run. Dating, relationships, all of that – are imprecise and inefficient."

"Imprecise?"

"Can't be described by mathematical modeling. I dislike wasting my time with vague outcomes."

"Would it make a difference if I told you," Pegasus asked with a grin, "that the payoff is unquestionably worth the initial investment in discomfort?"

"No."

"Oh, don't you want children, Kaiba-boy? Someone to pass your legacy on to?"

"Mokuba will take care of that." Kaiba looked away, out over the pewter-colored waves.

Pegasus understood, and decided the thing to do was to steer the conversation back to lighter topics. "You're an incorrigible non-romantic."

"Odd choice for your best friend, then."

"Oh, _touché._"

Kaiba tensed, and looked intent.

"What is it?" Pegasus asked.

"Quiet!" Kaiba said, then asked, "Did you hear that buzzing? Like an airplane?"

"Auditory hallucinations, Kaiba-boy. Brought about by wishful thinking."

Kaiba looked at Pegasus with an irritated scowl, then pointed to a spot behind Pegasus's right shoulder. "And that boat? Is it wishful thinking as well?"

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_~ to be continued ~_

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**Notes and Links and Random Facts**

First, a big, big thanks to my beta **Dark Rabbit**, who used articulate and insightful feedback to prod me THREE TIMES into massive re-writes of this chapter. Said feedback made me wince, whine, and grumble, but without it forcing me to keep re-thinking what I was doing and _why_, this character-driven chapter never would have evolved. I'm not sure I can ever adequately express my gratitude.

Thanks as well to **Rroselavy**, who provided much-needed focus and clarity when I was completely sick of re-writing (see above); and to **Stinger107**, for tossing me chunks of meaty feedback.

A special thank you to **Rua**, who found Senju's Sexy Mermaid deck on pojo for me**.**

Seto's knife is the Swiss Army _Victorinox Flash 16GB Ruby._

Lastly, W.D. Boyce founded the BSA in 1908.

(05) 18 June 2011 ~ adjust AN


	5. A Welcome Respite

Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

Description: Two CEOs. Two weeks. One bet. Can Pegasus and Kaiba handle being ordinary people? CHAPTER FIVE: Beverages are sipped, lifelines and accusations are thrown, and – unsurprisingly – the adventure takes a detour. Also, a brief mention of haggis.

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><p><strong>World's Worst, Chapter 5: <strong>_**A Welcome Respite**_  
><em>by Animom<em>

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><p>.<p>

The next quarter-hour went by in a chilly, disbelieving haze that ended with both of them wrapped in scratchy brown blankets, sipping tepid watery hot chocolate on the bridge of the small ship that had picked them up.

Their rescuer, a short stout woman with long brown braids and a strong accent who had introduced herself as Captain Nan – "I'm the Captain _an'_ the crew!" she'd said – kept shaking her head. "Usually it's as foggy as Abraham's beard out there, Lucky for you it cleared out today or I never would have seen you wavin' those orange knickers. You've got the higher domains looking out for you, for sure."

"Well if so, you're the lovely angel they sent," Pegasus said.

"Oh, am I now?" she asked with a twinkle in her gray eyes. "An angel, you say? I've already a hunch you're more aligned to th'other place. Where it's _much_ warmer."

Pegasus gasped. "You wound me, woman!"

"You'll live. How'd you and your friend come to be in that tin can heading for the Big Deep anyhow?"

Pegasus glanced at Kaiba – who sat bowed over his mug as if hypnotized by it – then explained, "We, ah ... ran into some trouble on the boat we were on, and a … very disreputable man took our money and identification. And put us out to die to cover his crime."

"Is that so? Why'd he not shoot ya?"

"I ... don't really know," Pegasus said lamely. "Did I mention that this cocoa is the most delicious thing I've _ever_ had to drink?"

"Um-hmm." Captain Nan gave him a stern look. "You ought to be more careful, there. Plenty o' bams running loose up here, aside from all the anarchists and loonies who fancy themselves pirates. Who was this man who put you out?"

"His name was Ted," Pegasus said. "Average looking, I suppose. Middle aged. Medium height. Black hair, thinning on top."

"Well, that describes half the sailors living. What ship were you on?"

_"The Mermaid's Boon."_

"I wonder … " Captain Nan said thoughtfully. 'This Ted, he didn't by any chance have a lackey who wore a ski mask, did he?"

Pegasus nodded. "Oh, you know them?"

"Not persay so much, no. There's been clishmaclaver for years about smugglers who work American or Canadian boats, use a false distress call to set up a handoff, then change berth to avoid suspicion. I first heard about them when a research ship with a friend o' mine on it disappeared a few years ago. Some dockers told me they saw a ratty fellow with a ski masked friend board just before the ship disbarked." She scowled. "I want to catch those bastards. Though by the time I track down that ship you were on I'm guessing they'll have moved on."

"False distress?" Pegasus asked sharply, and turned to Kaiba. "Do you think that ship that we helped was really in trouble? Ted did go over to help them put out the fire."

Kaiba shook his head. "Ski Mask gave him a box from the freezer hold while they were loading the emergency equipment on the outboard, but he fucking well wasn't taking fucking _fish_ over there."

"Oh!" Pegasus got it and snapped his fingers. "So the box contained smuggled goods!" He tapped his chin. "Was it a big box, or a small box? Big might be guns. Small would be drugs, maybe?" He suddenly looked worried. "Oh dear, I hope they didn't harm Captain Lloyd after we left. He admitted to me that he felt uneasy around them."

"Are you boys puddlers, or Interpol, or what?" Captain Nan asked. "Despite the pottymouth on Mister Blue Eyes here, you don't seem like sailors."

"Oh, you think we're Interpol!" Pegasus said, but after a sharp look from Kaiba he said, "No, we're just two ... ordinary fellows, trying to make a living any way we can. We just happened to stumble across Ted's business."

"Uh-huh." Captain Nan clearly didn't believe this.

"Why are _you_ out here?" Kaiba asked, looking up at her with sudden accusation. "In the middle of the sea?"

Captain Nan folded her arms. "Your bark and bite are _both_ vicious, aren't they?" she asked, but nodded approvingly, "Well, I've nothing to hide. I run taxi service out of my home port in Amaknak. Few days ago I took a daffy bunch from some nature institute up to the Diomedes to work with the Russians. Melted my ears on the way, they did, talking about carbon footprints and ozone.

"Anyhow, since I wasn't in any hurry to get back to Dutch, I swung by St. Matthew's to wave at the polar bears, and then took a little detour to float over the Zemchug. Deepest, widest canyon in the world it is, don'cha know? Bigger than the Grand down in the States."

"I didn't," Pegasus said with genuine interest. "I can see how that would make it rather – _thrilling_ to go across."

"It is at that." She pulled at and then re-tucked the brown blanket around Pegasus in a brusque-but-motherly way. "Well now, you two seem to be warming up just fine, so I'm going to get this barge underway. Let me know if you need anything."

"Some brandy might be nice," Pegasus said. "My feet are starting to hurt."

"Coffee," Kaiba requested.

"Noop, no alcohol or caff til I'm sure you've recovered," Captain Nan said, checking dials near the helmsman's wheel. "I've got gorp if you're hungry, though."

Kaiba grimaced.

"Gorp is just trail mix," Pegasus reassured him, "nuts and raisins and seeds. Sometimes little bits of chocolate. No animal parts. That's haggis." When Captain Nan turned around, puzzled, Pegasus explained, "My friend didn't know the term, but I do, since I was in the Scouts for eleven years."

"Were ya now?" Captain Nan said, turning back to flip two switches. The boat's engine rumbled. "So you're always well-prepared?"

"I wish that were true. I certainly haven't been lately, as you can see."

She spun the ship's wheel as she watched an overhead gauge. "Still, you two can't have been floatin' out there very long. All you've got is a bit of frostnip."

"I know it's not dire or life-threatening," wheedled Pegasus, "and I hate to trouble you, but … could I possibly have some hot water to soak my feet in?"

"Take your boots and socks off, and roll up your trouser legs," Captain Nan said with a touch of exasperation. "I'll get a basin."

.

She brought back a small metal washtub and a plastic jug of water. "Don't drink that," she commanded, "it's sea water. Pour't in the basin. Wait to put your feet in 'til I've stirred in the boiling," She left again.

While she was gone, Pegasus asked Kaiba, "Do you want to soak your feet too? I'll even let you go first."

"No," he said.

"Are you sure?" Pegasus asked, peeling off his gray socks. "Yours must hurt as much as mine do."

Kaiba hunkered down in his blanket wrappings like a cranky turtle.

Captain Nan returned with the kettle. As she poured the steaming water into the basin – using her hand to mix hot and cold – she said approvingly to Pegasus, "You've pretty feet for a man, I'll say that. Take pedicures and all that, I suppose?" She pointed. "Alright, dunk 'em."

"Flirting with me _again_, Captain Nan?" Pegasus asked, sighing and wincing as he put his cold-reddened feet into the warm water.

"Ach, no, I like hairy men with meat on their bones and honest fire in their soul," Captain Nan said matter-of-factly. "You're a smooth charmer, to be sure, but far too dainty for my taste. I'd likely snap you like a twig when things got passionate."

"Oh," Pegasus said faintly, swishing the water around with his feet.

Kaiba made a snorting noise that sounded _almost_ like suppressed laughter.

.

Captain Nan said that, as it would take most of the day to reach the Aleutians, it was her suggestion that they try to sleep. "Eat some of this before you go," she said, handing Pegasus the plastic jar of trail mix. "Sleeping cabin down the hall there. Take your blankets."

The sleeping cabin was even tinier than their room aboard the _Mermaid's Boon_ had been, more like a deep narrow closet with just enough room to turn around. The three bunk beds recessed into the wall looked like a stack of open-sided coffins.

"No bathroom?" Pegasus asked.

"Head's next door down," Captain Nan shouted from the bridge.

"I'll take the upper bunk," Kaiba said. "It would be tragic if you fell out and broke any of those _dainty_ bones."

Pegasus pretended to be offended. "If there's a twig in this room, Kaiba-boy, it's _you_."

Scoffing as he climbed to the upper bunk, a second later Kaiba exclaimed, _"What the hell?"_

Pegasus pulled himself up to look. The sheets on the bed were covering something angular and lumpy: as Kaiba pulled the sheets back dozens of paperback novels – of the sort that Captain Lloyd had lent Pegasus – were revealed.

"How interesting," Pegasus said, watching as grumpy Kaiba shoved the romances to the foot of the bed so that he had room to sleep. "Very interesting indeed."

.

Kaiba woke sometime later, irritated that he'd had to contort himself into a ball to avoid the books.

His cabin-mate was gone, but on the small boat it was simple to follow the sound of voices.

" ... an' when she was sixteen she ran away to Australia. Got a job cooking and cleaning for a widower twice her age named Farsparrow. Married him a few years later. Lasted forty years. He died a few years back, but she stayed down there. One of these days I'm going to sail down to visit her. We've never met in person, only through letters and photographs."

Pegasus sat entranced in the copilot's chair. "Romance and grand adventure run in your family, it seems."

"Oh, go on you," Captain Nan laughed and punched him playfully on the shoulder. She noticed Kaiba standing in the doorway. "Lo, the Sleeping Beauty has awakened."

"We've been having the grandest chat," Pegasus said quickly. "About all _sorts_ of things."

"So, are you goin' to keep on?" Captain Nan asked Kaiba, handing him a battered metal thermos. "Seems to me your concession wasn't legal, bein' forced and all, so I'd say the game's still on for another week. Unless you want to let this silver devil brag to everyone that he beat you?"

"I told Captain Nan about our bet," Pegasus said. "I might have admitted that both of us are … somewhat overly-competitive."

"You talk too much," Kaiba grumbled. He opened the thermos, sniffed the contents, and then poured the coffee it contained into the thermos' cup.

"Pish-tosh, Captain Nan's practically like family," Pegasus said. "More to the point, she knows a place we could get a job right away, and we'd only have to work the week. It sounds ideal."

"Too good to be true," Kaiba said sourly, then downed his coffee.

"I understand your doubts," Captain Nan said, "but it's on land – "

"So it would be easy to escape if it's horrible!" Pegasus interjected.

Giving Pegasus an indulgent, almost affectionate look, she continued. "One of my sisters-in-law has a little place called The Bear Rug just outside Amaknak. Two of her employees eloped and since then the poor girl's been doing everything herself. But she's almost nine months out, and if she keeps going like this my newest nephew's going to bounce to the floor while she's tending bar." She lifted an eyebrow. "I'd consider it a personal favor if you boys'd go help her out. Even if it's just for a week."

"I said of _course_ we'd go," Pegasus said, "and that we'd work without pay. After all, we owe Captain Nan our lives, don't we?"

.

They pulled into the Harbor just before dark.

"That's Davey Magnusson's shack over there," Captain Nan said, tossing the mooring lines and then pointing to an A-frame hut, one of a dozen small buildings set back from the harbor in a ramshackle-but-earnest line. "Wait over there. He'll take you to The Bear Rug when he gets back from Soldatna. Don't give him any money, I told him your trip's on me."

"That works out perfectly," Pegasus said cheerfully. "Neither of us _have_ any money." He bent down to give Captain Nan a good-bye hug. "Now, promise me you'll contact Captain Lloyd and let him know that Kino and Mr. Paris didn't fall overboard. Promise me you'll go see him in person?"

"Alright, I'll look him up," Captain Nan said with a laugh.

"And make sure to take a book to read in case he's in the middle of offloading and you have to wait."

"Aye, aye … now quit havering and get off my boat, you crazy elf."

Pegasus clambered down to the dock where Kaiba waited impatiently.

Captain Nan shook off her moorings and then backed her ship out, waving with one hand. "Good luck to you both! Have fun at Roslyn's!"

"We will!" Pegasus said. As the sun set it slid enough light under the lid of clouds to illuminate the name painted on the side of Captain Nan's ship: _Faespun Wanderer_.

"Now _that_," Pegasus said emphatically, pointing, "is an _excellent_ name for a boat."

.

They sat on the battered wooden bench outside Magnusson's Transportation as the dusk thickened quickly into night. The loss of color sharpened the sounds of the harbor: klaxons, shouts, metallic clangs, the occasional gull, and beneath it all the constant contrapunto of waves slapping the pier.

Most people would have found the environment peaceful (if a bit chilly) but as neither Kaiba nor Pegasus were much accustomed to waiting – for anything – the enforced, unstructured idleness gnawed at them.

Pegasus was the first to snap. "She's the youngest of ten children. Ten! Can you imagine that? I know I can't. The oldest is her sister, who left home before Nan was even born. Then eight boys. _Eleven_ people crammed into a single bungalow. Not much more living space than her boat, she told me. Of course she never had any privacy and I can see why how that might have led to her love for the solitary life. She said from the time she was young she has been fascinated by places like Tibet, the Amazon, Japan ... Is the wanderlust and fascination with the exotic from growing up in such cramped quarters when she was young? Or from the longing for a more varied diet? I know that sounds odd, but she mentioned that their usual meals were potatoes and milk and stale bread and cabbage, with a few boiled sausages on Sunday." he sighed. "It makes me wonder how much of _my_ life has been driven by such primitive cause and effect. Or anyone's, for that matter. Are we all so simple, just plants twisting for the sunlight?"

"You certainly love to hear yourself talk," Kaiba said.

"Wrong. I love _conversation_, Kaiba boy," Pegasus replied tartly. "It's your refusal to participate that makes it one-sided."

"I'm not interested in discussing boring details about someone's childhood."

"You're missing the point. The boring details aren't the important thing, they're just the ... what's a word you'd understand? Data? They're just the data, the starting point for other things."

"Data isn't a – "

"It's not a perfect metaphor," Pegasus was annoyed. "I'm a _painter_, not a poet."

Kaiba folded his arms and shrugged.

"Well ... if you truly listen when someone talks about themselves, it's almost like you can hear behind the words …" Pegasus raised his hands. "When I had the Eye, I only cared about _what_ people were thinking. I didn't care about _why_ they were thinking it._"_

"The _'what'_ was all you needed for cheating at cards." Kaiba was bitter.

Pegasus took a deep breath. "True, but … I was a different person then. I hardly knew what I was doing most of the time."

"Very convenient."

A huge ship swung into the harbor some hundred or so feet from where they sat, and an army of stevedores and cranes materialized to unload it.

"I can't undo what's been done. But the past drags me down endlessly, burying me in _shoulds_ … I _should have_ made Cynthia go to a doctor when I found out that she was having dizzy spells. I _should have_ stayed home and faced my grief, instead of chasing after esoteric rituals. I _should have_ gone back to my hotel the day I met Shadi, instead of following him into that tomb. I _should have_ realized that it was wrong to sell your soul to those five jackals in exchange for the holo-technology." Pegasus paused. "I _should have_ trusted that you'd at least _pretend_ to help me try to bring Cynthia back."

"I … " Kaiba began, uncertainly, but a prolonged clattering from the freighter made whatever he might have been saying inaudible.

"I wish I wasn't the man who did those things." Pegasus swiped at his face, then went on as if nothing had happened, his voice back to its usual carefree flutter. "How silly of me! Somehow I've gone off-topic! As I was saying, until recently I've never really talked to – or listened to – people like Captain Lloyd, Tali, Cook, Nan ... I had never fully comprehended that people like that are just as complex as I am." He forced a chuckle. "I admit that ... in the past, such people were just dots in the background to me. Now I see that they're resilient, and charming, and resourceful, and passionate – "

"Hn."

"What? Why am I getting the patented Kaiba harumph?"

"All of this is because Croquet said you were shallow and self-centered and lacked empathy? You want to prove him wrong."

"I don't think that's it," Pegasus said doubtfully. "I feel like I've had a genuine epiphany about myself."

"Aren't you pursuing this understanding because it gives you power? It's merely a more time-consuming version of what the Eye gave you. Knowing what people are thinking so that you can manipulate them to your advantage."

"Really, I don't – "

"You said it yourself. Your behavior toward me is a game, pulling my strings for your amusement."

"That's not what I – "

"I'm tired of this pointless conversation." Kaiba looked away.

"And _up_ goes the drawbridge," Pegasus said, irritated. "Kaiba Childish Reaction Number Two: _Take Your Toys and Go Home._ If you things don't go your way, if you don't get _exactly_ what you want, you lock yourself in your fortress and convince yourself that nothing important exists outside the walls."

"You _are_ the expert on the childish." Kaiba sounded unnaturally calm and disinterested.

"You can't let yourself admit it, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus said, truly angry now, "but in your own way you work just as hard to re-arrange reality to your liking as I do. The difference is, at least _I'm_ out trying to mingle with the villagers."

And then they sat in furious silence until their ride arrived.

.

"Ride" was an understatement.

Davey Magnusson had walked up to them, asked "Bear Rug?" then led them to a small outboard skiff. Fifteen minutes later, after a frigid, noisy trip to what appeared to be a different island, they debarked at wooden pier next to a tiny airstrip, boarded a bush plane, flew for ten minutes, landed, and then followed Davey to a huge pick-up truck.

"It must be after midnight," Pegasus said, hesitating with his hand on the door-handle. "Will Roslyn even be there?"

"Yep," Davey said, bringing the total words he'd said to three.

.

As the truck roared without headlights over the snow – if they were following an actual road, only Davey could see it – it occurred to at least one of the passengers that Davey might somehow be a friend of Ted's, and that they were being taken out into the frozen wilderness to be shot.

Under the circumstances, and considering recent events, it was reasonable fear.

But then they were heading toward multicolored, flickering lights – visible in the distance whenever the truck crested a hill – and at last they came to a gangly cluster of large, low buildings, surrounded – like performers with an audience – by a hundred or so cars, trucks, snowmobiles, and assorted dogsleds. The largest building had a red and blue neon sign of elaborate script spelling out "The Bear Rug."

Davey turned the truck off. A bass thump of music was audible through the windshield.

"Thank you," Pegasus said, not disguising how surprised he was that they'd actually been taken to the promised destination.

"No problem," Davey said. "Friends of Nan's are friends of mine."

Kaiba and Pegasus slid out of the truck on annoyingly shaky legs, startled when Davey immediately started the truck and drove off.

"I guess we go in."

Through the door, down a long, claustrophobic windowless corridor with a floor of frozen earth, and then through swinging doors into a small, cozily lit restaurant. The walls were decorated with deer heads, mounted fish, and the eponymous bearskin rugs. To their left, wooden booths and tables lit by hanging copper lamps were full of people – mostly men - eating burgers and ribs. An enormous wooden bar ran along the right wall: a large sign requested "Check your guns at the bar." Past the end of the bar was an archway that led into another room, the source of music, chatter, and an intense blue light.

"What can I get you boys?" A black woman behind the bar asked them. "If you want a table, there's a wait unless you can squeeze in with someone."

"We're here to see Roslyn," Pegasus said. "Captain Nan sent us to help her out."

The woman looked surprised, then smiled and stepped back from the bar enough to display her huge, rounded stomach. "I'm Roslyn. Nan sent you? Bless her heart." She slapped the bar. "Have a seat. What's your pleasure?"

"Saucy wench," Pegasus said, sliding onto the barstool. "It's been a very long day, and I _might_ pass out after two sips, but … red wine. Or a vodka tonic."

"Beaujolais okay?" she asked. "I ordered a case for myself just before I got knocked up, and by time it was delivered I knew I couldn't have any. Pretty soon it's gonna pass its prime and become a case of expensive vinegar, 'cause not many around here drink grape juice."

"I'd love some grape juice," Pegasus said with a wink. He turned to Kaiba, but the younger man was walking to the far end of the bar.

"And your broody friend?" Roslyn asked, putting the bottle of Beaujolais and a corkscrew into Pegasus' outstretched hands. "What can I get for him?"

"As far as I know," Pegasus said, pressing in the corkscrew as he watched Kaiba stop to watch whatever was happening in the blue room – where the music was now almost entirely drowned out by cheers, clapping, and foot-stomping, "he doesn't drink."

"Ah, a religious man? Or one of those _'My body is a temple'_ health food types?''

"Neither," Pegasus said, pulling the cork out with a pop, "at least as far as I know. He's just … very focused. A genius really, brilliant, excessively short-tempered, no social graces, but otherwise as pure as an altar boy." He poured the wine into the glass that Roslyn had set on the counter. "However, considering how very protective he is of his family and his privacy, he might have an entire secret life I know nothing of."

"Ah, so you two aren't – " Roslyn made a rippling hand gesture.

"No," Pegasus said with a smile. "But we've known each other for years, and I enjoy annoying him now and again. He turns the loveliest shades of red and purple."

Roslyn laughed loudly.

Kaiba glanced over at them. For a moment he looked almost envious; then he frowned and looked away.

"So this place," Pegasus said, "I'm curious. How did you come to choose such an isolated spot? Not that it seems to have affected your business." He watched as two men in plaid jackets and fur caps got up from their table, walked to the back wall, and knocked on a small wooden panel set at shoulder-height.

"Extensive parking," Roslyn said, counting the points on her fingers. "Two: no one to complain about the noise. Three: zoning is flexible."

The wooden door at the back slid open, revealing a shelf with two plates of food.

"Fact is," Roslyn said, "people up here work long hard hours. A few're doing it to pay off debt, but most are because they're bored. Most of the men wind up with a lot more money than they need for necessities, so I offer them – my Auntie Asha called them _spending alternatives_. The three Bs."

"Oh, let me guess," Pegasus said eagerly. "Liquor – booze? is one."

"That's right."

"And ... from the delicious smell, I'll guess that beefy barbeque and burgers are the second?"

"Right again."

Kaiba, who had watched the other room until the noise subsided, now walked back to where Pegasus was sitting. He had a very strange expression.

"What is it?" Pegasus asked him.

"Go … look." He sounded strangled.

With a half-apologetic shrug to Roslyn, Pegasus slid off his barstool and hurried to the doorway just as the light spilling into the restaurant changed from blue to red.

_"Oooooo … love to love you baby …"_ Donna Summers' breathy voice flowed from the speakers.

"Oh my!"

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_~ to be continued ~_

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**Author's Notes:**

As always, a thank you to my betas **Dark Rabbit** and **Rroselavy**: they keep me on my toes.

Since I've had my fill of FFnet eating URLs, from now on the bulk of each chapter's notes – and potentially additional musings on the chapter - will be posted to my Dreamwidth blog, which is at **Animom DOT dreamwidth DOT org.**

Thank you for reading, and remember – I love reviews almost as much as Crawford loves Gorgonzola.

(03) 30 June 2011


	6. A Surprising Venue

Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

Description: Two CEOs. One bet. Can Pegasus and Kaiba handle working side-by-side in an ordinary job? For two weeks? Without killing each other?

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><p><strong>World's Worst, Chapter 6: A Surprising Venue<strong>  
><em>by Animom<em>

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><p>.<p>

"Problem?" Roslyn asked Kaiba. "Nan _did_ mention that we have dancers here, didn't she?"

"No." This was all Kaiba could manage at the moment, as he was still processing the information. In principle he was neutral about paid public nudity – Mokuba had told him several times that he intended to go to a bikini club with Yugi and Jounouchi the instant he was old enough - but he would have preferred that this particular locale for observing the common man didn't have so much of the common woman's body on display.

Predictably, Pegasus didn't appear to mind the show at all: he stood just past the far end of the bar, staring through the archway into the red-lit club room with childish delight, applauding enthusiastically as one song wound down and the next began.

"I see Mister Paris is enjoying the show," Roslyn said, filling a frosted mug with beer from a spigot behind the bar. "He's quite entertaining himself."

Kaiba, irritated that Pegasus had given Roslyn the same ridiculous aliases he'd used on the fish processing boat, said, "That's one word for it."

Roslyn laughed and filled a second mug. "Ha, I know the feeling. They drive ya nuts, but still ya love 'em. How long you two been partners?"

"No," Kaiba replied angrily, "he's not my _partner._ In any sense of the word. Despite how he acts, or what he may have told you."

"I see." She set another mug of beer on the bar. "So did you two know each other before you came to Alaska, or were you tossed out to sea with a stranger?"

"This boy doesn't know me at all," Pegasus said smoothly, slipping onto the barstool next to where Kaiba stood. "Though not for lack of my trying to explain myself. He's simply _not interested _in me_._"

"We're business acquaintances," Kaiba said.

"Ah, you won't even admit to us being _friends?_ I'm devastated." Pegasus rested his chin on his hand and smiled at Roslyn as if sharing a secret. "I, on the other hand, Miz Roslyn, know this boy much, _much_ better than he'll ever acknowledge."

"What can I do?" Kaiba asked Roslyn abruptly.

"Do?"

"I'm here to work." He refused to look at Pegasus.

"Well ... actually all I really need is someone to tend bar. The dancers take turns waiting tables."

"I see."

"But," she glanced at Pegasus. "We're really short-handed tonight since Tanya's in bed with the flu, so I've been doing _all_ the pouring and serving. Me and Ray Junior could use a break, so if you want you can take these six beers to table four." Roslyn pulled a laminated sheet from under the bar and tapped one of the circles on the floor plan. "This one, next to the stage."

"Grab three handles in each hand," Pegasus suggested, and then added, in the special tone of voice he always used when underscoring his heavy-handed double-entendres, "If you hold tight and _squeeze_ hard enough, nothing will spill before you get to your destination." He chuckled at the innuendo. "Not that I've ever had that problem, but it's surprisingly effective advice, I'm told."

Kaiba glanced at the chart, nodded, then grimly reached past Pegasus to take the mugs. It was just like Pegasus to play this sort of game. Twelve years they'd known each other, and in all that time only imminent death on the open sea had made him cut the bullshit and act normal ... Unless, of course, that had been just another act. Which was likely, considering the source.

Not that it mattered.

**.**

By the time Kaiba dropped off the beers and brought back the crumpled wads of hundred-dollar bills that the drunks at table four had tossed down, Pegasus and Roslyn had traded places: Pegasus was standing behind the bar, pouring liquors from various bottles into a a row of various-sized glasses, while the pregnant owner of The Bear Rug sat sideways on a bar stool, watching.

"And then he asks," he heard Pegasus say, "_Would you like the cucumber bruised?_"

This nonsensical comment apparently had some meaning for Roslyn, as she replied, "Slightly!" and then laughed for at least fifteen seconds. "Oh lord, that show had some funny moments."

Pegasus looked over as Kaiba approached and said, as explanation, "Pop culture reference." He dropped various small pieces of fruit into some of the glasses, stabbed a straw into each, and then proclaimed to Roslyn, "Voilà!"

"Good work." She stirred one of the glasses, dipped the tip of one finger in, and then licked the finger. "Nice mix. Most put way too much gin in, but this is perfect. You're hired!"

Pegasus clapped. "Wonderful! As well as all the old standards, I know quite a few of the more modern concoctions as well – Emerald Martini, Jamaican Paradise, Cherry Bomb, Mojito, Elysium, Kamikaze … the various Cosmopolitans, of course."

Kaiba handed Roslyn the money from table four and then, uninterested in the discussion, sat on the bar-stool at the end of the bar furthest from the dance club archway.

"Not much call for those," Roslyn said. "Though every once in a while one of the sailors brings in a girlfriend, and half the time they ask for something crazy. Trying to show off or stump the bartender, usually." She turned to Kaiba. "I'm sorry, but after tonight – unless Tanya is still sick tomorrow – there's not going to be much for you to do other than to be on call to fill in when someone goes on break. That okay with you?"

"I am here to do whatever needs to be done." He didn't understand how Pegasus had ingratiated himself with Roslyn so quickly.

"I'll leave the seating chart out for you to refer to."

"No." Were Pegasus' clearly transparent ploys – flirting, joking, flattery – truly so effective?

"What do you mean, _No_?"

Kaiba bit back his irritation, and said as blandly as he could, "I don't need a chart. I've already memorized the table locations."

"Really? From that one quick look?" Roslyn was skeptical. "Okay, prove it. Show me."

Pegasus put a notepad and a pen on the bar. Kaiba sketched out circles and squares, then added numbers to each. "Should I add in the location of the ventilation grills or the electrical outlets?" he asked with what he assumed was politeness.

"No ... no, you're good. You got it down, you definitely don't need the chart." Roslyn raised an eyebrow and looked at Pegasus. "I'm impressed."

Pegasus was beaming. "I told you. _Kino_ here," he drew the words out, emphasizing to Kaiba that he intended to keep using the alias, "is the smartest person I've ever met. He was a child prodigy. And he's fantastic with computers." He added with a malicious twinkle, "He's _thrillingly _agile at bypassing the security encryption on dueling game system databases."

"Hn." Kaiba looked away. _That_ again – was Pegasus ever going to stop bringing up that Kaiba had supposedly risked his life to help his greatest rival – Yugi's dark half – at Duelist Kingdom?

"Well, my computer is mostly for bookkeeping," Roslyn said slowly, uncertain of what was going on between the two men, "but I have MineSweeper and solitaire, if you're looking for games to play."

"No e-mail?" Pegasus asked. "What a shame! Not even to stay in touch with your husband?"

"Well," she said with a sigh, "he usually gets deployed somewhere remote, so we just catch up whenever he's on leave. Though I did put a dish on the roof just in case he ever gets the chance to e-mail me while he's on duty."

"Will he be back in time for the baby's birth?" Pegasus asked.

Kaiba, pretending to be studying the bottles on the shelves behind the bar and not listening, didn't understand what thought process was leading Pegasus to ask these questions. Certainly the e-mail comment was meant as a dig, a reference to the no-tech clause of the contract, but –

His musing was interrupted by a light touch on his arm. "I'm sorry. I didn't catch it the first time – how do you say your name?" Roslyn was asking him.

Interesting. Was it possible that Pegasus' questions had annoyed her enough that she was changing the subject? Perhaps he could use this turn of events to his advantage, but before he could respond to Roslyn Pegasus cut in.

"His given name is Kinotsumaru," Pegasus said smoothly. "But you can call him Benpi, if you want. That's my little nickname for him."

Kaiba fumed. Pegasus certainly knew enough Japanese to know that _benpi_ meant constipated.

"Aw, that's so cute!" Roslyn said. "Ben-pee! Is it okay if I call you that? Or is just Ben better?"

"Benpi, Ben, Kinotsumaru, Kino, Ken, Kaiba-boy, whatever you want," Kaiba muttered. It was clear that Pegasus was going to take a tactic of sly harassment this week, now that a liberating helicopter ride was only a phone call away.

Well, the former Master of Duelist Kingdom was going to learn that Kaiba Seto could not be driven off the playing field by such ridiculous antics.

"Ah, okay … Paris, honey, can you hand me that?" Roslyn asked, pointing to the order book poking out of the pocket of the waitress apron she'd left behind the bar. "Now let's see … " Her lips moved as she began totaling table four's bill, which was spread out over several checks. "Those guys have been here about six hours, I'm surprised they're all still conscious."

Kaiba glanced at the small scribbled sheets and said, "Four hundred twenty-eight point eighty."

Roslyn finished adding the numbers and then nodded. "Wow, that's right! What's eighteen percent tip?"

"Seventy-seven point eighteen."

"Total?" she asked, half-smiling.

"Five hundred five point ninety-eight."

As Pegasus rang up the bill on the small antique register, Roslyn said, "Well, Mike sure couldn't do math in his head like that, so fast." As Pegasus started to take fifties and twenties from the register, Roslyn said, "No no, make change using fives and singles only. Customers tip the dancers more if they have a big roll of small bills."

"Mike?" Pegasus asked.

"He _was_ my server. Bouncer, computer guy, janitor. He ran off with my bartender." She counted the money that Pegasus had given her, then handed it to Kaiba. "Give table four sixteen or seventeen dollars and keep the rest."

"That's a tip," Pegasus said unctuously. "Extra money that servers get for giving good service and being courteous."

Kaiba glared at him. "I know what a tip is. I've _paid_ one often enough."

Roslyn shook her head and made a chiding noise. "Now Ben, I know you're only here a week," she said, "and Mister Paris has said you two aren't taking any wages, but … I do hope you're gonna dial that back when you deal with _my_ customers."

"Dial what back?" Kaiba was confused.

"You really do come across as very rude," Pegasus said, then told Roslyn with a drawn-out sigh, "He's had people point that out to him before, but it just doesn't seem to get through. I guess he'll have to get fired a few times for it to sink in."

Kaiba gritted his teeth and considered what to say. He knew that Pegasus was trying to get him to lose his temper in front of Roslyn – and if he did, Pegasus would win this round of their never-ending battle... On the other hand, as much as he hated to be defeated, he was beginning to think it would be worth losing a round just to _unleash_ on the silver-haired irritant for a change.

It was at that moment that a man walked in through the front door of The Bear Rug and handed Kaiba a rifle.

Kaiba had a moment where he wondered if he was having a vision like the ones he'd had years ago in the months just before Atem left, but when the man pointed to the sign on the wall – _Please Check Firearms at Bar –_ and then walked away, Kaiba realized that he was, unfortunately, un-visioned.

"Six more days," he told himself, "six more days."

**.**

The Bear Rug began to wind down for the night at 4 am. A few men made jokes about sleeping in their trucks as they staggered out the front door, but most lined up in the aisle between the bar and the tables to take plates of food and mugs of coffee from the mystery cabinet.

"What about their guns?" Pegasus asked, taking one of the large plastic tubs of dirty glassware that Kaiba had collected from the tables in the nearly-empty club room.

"I don't know what it's like where you all come from," Roslyn said dryly. "but around here it's generally not a good idea to hand a drunk man a rifle. Don't worry, though: if they don't remember where they left their guns when they wake up, they'll get 'em back next time they come in here. I've seen all of them and their weapons so many times I know who owns what with my eyes closed."

A group of the dancers came into from the club, their "outfits" fortunately covered by heavy coats. "Good night Roz," they said in unison, but it was clear that they had come to oogle Pegasus.

"Goodnight ladies," he said with a bow. "I look forward to getting to know each and _every_ one of you later today. After I've had my beauty sleep."

They giggled and left, one of them saying with a little wave, "G'night, Mister Paris!" as they went through a door near the mystery cabinet at the back of the dining area.

Kaiba, whose head was pounding from the hours of music and assorted noise he'd been subjected to in the club room, sat on a bar-stool and rubbed his temples. He wondered why the sudden quiet seemed to have amplified the throbbing, or was it was just that he could now also hear the ringing in his ears?

"Roslyn is letting us stay in the backstage green room," Pegasus said as he stacked the washed and dried mugs on shelves behind the bar. "Since, sadly, the apartment building where the dancers live isn't co-ed."

"You boys better not cause trouble any in my hen-house," Roslyn said darkly as she counted the money in the cash register. "Most of the girls are working here in the first place because some rooster ruffled up their feathers and then strutted off before the egg was hatched."

"Miss Roslyn," Pegasus said loftily, "I am a _gentleman_. I would _never_ leave a lady languishing with ruffled feathers."

**.**

The green room – which was not green at all, but paneled in a dark artificial wood – had two long, swayback couches upholstered in a scratchy brown plaid fabric. Kaiba, who had pulled off his shoes and stretched out on one with a stifled groan, was beginning to understand Pegasus' love of material comfort, as even he was beginning to yearn for his familiar bed in the Kaiba mansion, with its extra-firm, memory foam-topped mattress and its smooth, odorless cotton sheets.

"Yoo-hoo, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus said from the other couch, "I'm _cold_. Do you think there are blankets anywhere?" There was a beat of silence before the predictable, "Unless you can think of another way to turn up the heat."

One other thing he missed about his quiet bedroom in the mansion was that he slept there blissfully alone.

.

In the morning – well, technically early afternoon – they shambled out of the green room to find the dining room surprisingly full – but instead of men in hats and parkas, every chair was occupied by a young woman or a child.

Roslyn waved them over. "Hey everyone, meet Paris and Ben, my helpers for the week!"

"Oooo, fresh meat," one of the girls called out, and everyone laughed.

"Mister Paris will be tending bar so that I can put my feet up a little, and Ben will be busing tables and covering breaks."

"I'd rather see them dance!" one of the other girls called out, and there was generalized hooting.

"Be nice, ladies," Roslyn said with a laugh, then turned to them. "There's eggs and ham and coffee, if you want, and Ironhewn's famous pancakes. I figure you two might want to grab a shower and a change of clothes before we open at four." This was said with a smile, but her expression communicated that both Pegasus and Kaiba needed to address the fact that they had worn the same clothes and gone unbathed for a week. "Mike was tall, so I'm sure you two can borrow some of his things."

As Kaiba got coffee Pegasus edged next to him and asked if he could shower first.

"I don't care," Kaiba said. He suspected Pegasus mostly wanted first pick of the absent Mike's wardrobe.

"Of course, you could come with me," Pegasus murmured. "Just think of the water doubling up would save! Conservation is good for the planet, you know."

Kaiba gritted his teeth and walked quickly to the corner near the front door, away from both Pegasus and the dancer-crowded tables. "Not a chance in hell." The coffee was scalding hot, but very good.

Pegasus followed, and as always stood far too close. "Aw, Kaiba-boy, where's your sense of adventure?" he asked with a comically exaggerated frown, poking Kaiba in the arm.

"Get away from me."

"As you command." With a smirk Pegasus flounced away to where Roslyn was sitting. When one of the dancers came over to them, Pegasus stood and offered her his arm; a moment later the two exited down the hallway to the dormitory as if attending a cotillion.

Kaiba snorted. Shower together! It was just like Pegasus to make such a ludicrous suggestion.

.

When he emerged from the bathroom he saw that a white shirt, brown pants, and garishly patterned boxer shorts had been laid out for him while he was showering. Had Pegasus been skulking around in the bedroom? It was a good thing he'd locked the bathroom door.

"He says he's joking," Kaiba muttered as he cinched the pants – which were far too large in the waist – with the neatly coiled belt that had been left on the bed. "He says he's joking, but he doesn't _act_ like a person who's joking."

Happily, the dining room was Pegasus-free. Roslyn, who sat at a table with what looked like a shoebox of used order books, motioned him over. "Mister Paris said you've a computer whiz – could you help me figure out how to get into my program so that I can enter the last quarter's business info for my taxes?"

He was about to answer her when Pegasus' voice came from behind the bar. "He's not supposed to use computers."

"Not supposed to?" Roslyn asked the invisible Pegasus, as Kaiba folded his arms and glared at the bar.

"His therapist forbid it," the voice said. "Poor Ben was so addicted to internet porn that he forgot to eat half of the time."

"Aw, is that why you're so skinny?" Roslyn said, patting Kaiba's arm. "Well, no worries. You can't get to any of that nasty stuff on my old PC back there. My computer is just letters and numbers. No pictures."

As she led him to her office – situated across the hall from the green room – Kaiba was prepared for her computer to be somewhat be outdated, but he didn't expect to see something so primitive that it belonged in a museum. Still, line commands and DOS were more than sufficient to locate and launch her character-based financial "program."

A moment later, he made a soft sound of surprise.

"Something wrong?" Roslyn asked.

"No," he said. "Your business is doing quite well. The net profit is impressive." He stopped himself before saying_ Better than mine._

"Well, my overhead and capital expenses are both fairly low. I inherited the land from my grandmama, and the buildings are pretty much paid off."

"And consider what she offers." Pegasus unexpectedly appeared in the doorway, leaning against the door-frame as if to show off that the clothes of Mike's that he had chosen – a dark red shirt and black pants - fit his larger frame better than the clothes that Kaiba had been given did. "The Bear Rug offers two of the commodities most essential to human existence – sex and food."

Deciding not to validate this inane remark, Kaiba scrolled though the balance sheet and the accounting ledger. "What's _RoslynRay, LLC_?"

"My rental property out back," Roslyn said. "The dancers call it The Dorm. I charge just enough to cover utilities and insurance."

"But not capital expenses or depreciation," Kaiba pointed out.

Roslyn eyed him shrewdly. "True. But the club's always had plenty of black ink to cover those."

"Don't they want their own places?" Pegasus asked.

"Most of 'em have had plenty of being alone, trying to make it on their own as widows or single parents. A few had boyfriends or husbands that drank too much and liked to hit. I offer safety in numbers here. _And_ built-in daycare."

"You are truly an extraordinary person, Miz Roslyn," Pegasus said with a bow.

"Oh, go on!" She made a shooing motion. "Get out of here before you make me blush." She pointedly turned her back to Pegasus and unfolded a sheaf of hand-written ledger pages. "Thanks for getting the program started, Ben," she said to Kaiba. "I need to get this entered before I hop over to the bank and my accountant in Solly, though. Can I give you a holler when I'm ready to print?"

Kaiba noticed that Pegasus was watching him with an expectant look, and so he said stiffly to Roslyn, "I'll enter your data. You can go … prop your feet on a chair."

"Are you sure?" Roslyn said, but handed him the pages and the box nevertheless. "Think you can you read my chicken scratch handwriting?"

Kaiba glanced over the pages. "It seems clear." He frowned slightly, flipping back and forth between two of the sheets. "Unusually large gross income three days a month. Always on the same calendar days. Why is that?"

"I'm sure Miz Roslyn isn't doing anything illegal," Pegasus said instantly.

"Of course I'm not!" she retorted, then explained. "The military base pays on the first and fifteenth. Boys get that bankroll, they like to come in here and unwind. Most of 'em don't have much else to spend it on."

"And the sixteenth?"

"Ladies Night for the women soldiers."

"Women soldiers ... come here to watch women?" Pegasus asked, sounding astonished and slightly titillated. As today was the eleventh, Kaiba was sure that Pegasus was counting off the days to see if he'd still be here for the spectacle of women watching other women undress.

"No, Ladies Night had male dancers. And a DJ during intermissions." Roslyn took a piece of paper from her desk and jotted down a note. "Thanks for reminding me, though – I'd better call the base and the other dancers right now and let them know that Ladies Night ain't gonna happen no more."

"Why?"

"Mike was our third dancer. It's not much of a show with just two."

"Why not just get a replacement for him?" Pegasus asked.

"I wish I could – Lord knows I'd love to set aside the proceeds from one more Ladies' Night before Ray Junior arrives – but no one's responded to the ads."

"I'll do it," Pegasus said impulsively.

Kaiba scoffed. "Ignore him. He's not serious."

"Of course I am." Pegasus puffed up. "Unless Roslyn thinks my eyepatch is a liability? Too off putting?"

"Turn it into an asset," Kaiba said sarcastically. "Wear the _whole_ pirate costume."

"It could work," Roz said thoughtfully.

"Huh?" Both Pegasus and Kaiba gaped at her.

"Well," Roslyn said, turning around and giving Pegasus an appreciative glance. "You've certainly got the body for it. And the personality. If you're okay with stripping down, we have a deal."

"How _kind_ of you to offer to help Roslyn out," Kaiba said, making sure to nail Pegasus' coffin shut.

"I – I – " Pegasus went wide-eyed for a moment, but then he caught himself. "Of course." He put his hand over his heart, pledging, "It'll be my pleasure."

"Four and a half days isn't much time," Roslyn said, suddenly all a-bustle, "but I'm sure that Mike left his old costumes. We can make alternations – heck, maybe even whip up something new once we coordinate with Rios and Winchester and Dinka are doing. I'm sure the girls will be happy to teach you some moves and block out a basic choreography, but really all you need to do is take your clothes off and shake your goodies at whoever is making the most noise."

Pegasus' uncertainty was back. "How … how ... _grabby_ will these women get? I mean, so far your clientele seems quite well-behaved, but I've seen some _appalling_ behavior in other places."

Kaiba found the image of Pegasus waving money at a half-naked person in a strip club extremely disturbing, and quickly repressed it.

""I know that," Roslyn said. "Some clubs definitely let things get out of hand, but everyone who comes here knows I don't allow the wild to go too far. Anyone who gets rude gets an express ride through the front door and into a snowbank." She looked at her watch. "Alright, Davey won't be here for an hour, so I'll go see who's free to get this started." She hugged Pegasus enthusiastically, big belly and all. "Thank you so much! You just gave me sunshine for the whole week! "

And then she was out the door.

"What the hell did I get myself into?" Pegasus looked stricken.

"You wanted _adventure_," Kaiba said, feeling unruffled for the first time since he'd boarded the plane to Kodiak. "You _got_ adventure."

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_~ to be continued ~_

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Thank you to my beta **Dark Rabbit.**

Additional author's notes at animom DOT dreamwidth DOT org.

(07) 21 July 2011 ~ adjust timeline


	7. A Man's Night, A Ladies' Night

Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

Description: Two CEOs, one bet: Can Pegasus and Kaiba handle working side-by-side in an ordinary job? For two weeks? Without killing each other? CHAPTER SEVEN: It's Pegasus' big night, but it might be Kaiba who displays the most surprising behavior.

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><p><strong>World's Worst, Chapter 7: A Man's Night, A Ladies' Night<strong>  
><em>by Animom<em>

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><p><strong>.<strong>

_Ladies Night: T minus three-and-a-half days and counting ..._

_._

"Well, that doesn't leave me much to choose from, now does it?" Pegasus said irritably. "Either of those songs would have been perfect. Now I'm stuck with what – _Sex Bomb_ _or Let's Get It On_?"

"Be cool. We'll think of something," Roslyn soothed. It was early afternoon, and as the last stragglers shuffled in yawning for the tail-end of breakfast she and Pegasus sat at a table in the dining room working out the details of his Ladies' Night appearance. Roslyn was familiar with the music and costumes that the other men who'd be stripping used, and so was trying to find contrasting songs and ideas for Pegasus in order to balance out the show musically and visually.

Kaiba, who sat at his preferred spot – a shadowed booth near the entrance set apart from the racuous tables of The Bear Rug's employees - enjoyed seeing Pegasus fret. However, he also understood that too _much_ stress might make Pegasus renege his promise to perform. As this was a humiliation Kaiba was very much looking forward to seeing, every time laughter threatened he hid it by taking a swallow from his mug of coffee.

A red-haired woman whose stage name was Soozee Creamcheese came into the dining room and stopped at Roslyn's table to pick up a piece of paper. "Rudy Dinka's dancing too? _Awesome_!"

"Yes," Roslyn nodded as she paged through her music book. "He's only doing one number, though. As a favor to Rios."

"Woo, I can't wait," Soozee said. "That's delicious 100% _prime_ man-meat with a package that _delivers_. Rawr!"

Pegasus scowled, and Kaiba could almost hear what was going through his mind: _I don't want to be sub-par meat! I want to be worshiped!_

Time for another sip of coffee.

Pegasus folded his arms and said sulkily, "I don't think I'm really trance person, Miz Roslyn. Nor am I house, or _bhangra_, or industrial."

Kaiba appreciated the humor of Pegasus denying his own company name, but of course there was no point in outing him as a CEO. Not yet, anyhow.

"Just wait til you hear it," Roslyn was saying. "It'll be perfect. And real easy to move to, I promise. C'mon back to my office, I'll play it for you."

"Kaiba," Pegasus called over to him as he and Roslyn got up from the table, "back me up on this, won't you?"

"Who's Kaiba?" Roslyn asked.

"Oh," Pegasus floundered, "it's, that's, ah, just another nickname for Kino over there."

"Kaiba, Kino, Ben – you sure have a lot of names for someone who's not on stage," Roslyn said to Kaiba with a grin. "Sure you're not holding out on us?"

"Come along and help me out, please?" Pegasus pleaded.

"I'd prefer to be surprised,' Kaiba said smoothly, denying Pegasus' request with great satisfaction. "Along with the rest of the audience."

"Cruel boy," Pegasus said with a disapproving pout, then followed Roslyn to her office.

Smirking, Kaiba finished off his coffee.

**.**

**.**

_Ladies' Night T minus two-and-a-half days_

_._

It was late afternoon, two hours until The Bear Rug opened for business. The echo of feet and faint laughter came from the club room where Pegasus was "practicing" with two of the women dancers.

Kaiba, sitting in the dining room at the isolated booth where he now spent almost every moment of his waking hours, was attempting to find something, _anything_ to relieve his mind-numbing boredom. He was paging listlessly through a three-week old local newspaper that someone had left behind the previous night. He'd never admit it to Pegasus, of course, but the tedium of waiting around with nothing to do was more difficult to bear than anything he'd done since the ridiculous wager started. Evenings were the worst, when all around him was activity: strangers eating and drinking, Pegasus laughing and joking behind the bar, Roslyn moving between dining room and club making sure her customers were satisfied, the music and cheers cascading in from the other room while dancers were performing. He hated that he had so quickly became secretly eager for the moments when he was needed to take orders and bus tables for fifteen minutes or a half-hour while whoever the regular server was took a break.

Four more days. He turned the pages, eyes flicking over articles on energy costs and tourism, school district levies, immunizations and logging, police reports and fishing derbies, boat sales, acne treatments and ovarian cancer, managing credit card debt, remodeling a bathroom ... Movie reviews, ads for concrete, milling, and welding services filled the last few pages before the classifieds.

He saw the solution to a crossword puzzle and paged back to find it, digging in his pocket for his pen.

Eleven across: _Tooth's partner. _"Tooth's partner?" he muttered.

"How many letters?" Pegasus asked, sliding into the booth.

"Four." Kaiba heard the click of high heels as the dancers went back to the dorm to prepare for the evening.

"Nail. From the English idiomatic phrase, 'To fight tooth and nail.' It means to fight with everything you've got, like an animal."

"It's not worth fighting otherwise," Kaiba said, inking in _NAIL_.

"I suppose not."

Pegasus was now smiling at him indulgently, which was, as always, irritating. "How is your _stripping_ training going?" Kaiba asked, noting the slight wince this question caused. "You seem to be enjoying yourself, being the center of attention for all those women."

"Jealous, Kaiba-boy?" Pegasus asked, then sighed. "Enjoyment isn't the point. I gave my word that I would help out our lovely Momma Roslyn, and I won't go back on it." He made a face. "No matter how tacky and slightly unpleasant the task. Thank goodness I had ballroom lessons as a boy."

Kaiba snorted. "Dance lessons? How _manly_." One down: _Lethal hissers_, four letters. _ASPS_.

"I wouldn't expect a philistine such as yourself to understand it, but being able to properly escort and showcase a young lady at formal social events is very important." Pegasus looked off and said wistfully, "I was a platinum setting, content to showcase the beauty of my exquisite pink diamond."

Kaiba, uncomfortable as always when Pegasus made reference to his dead wife, asked, "Sack dress creator? Four letters?"

"How would I know?" Pegasus asked peevishly. "As I was saying, it's been somewhat useful, dusting off my foxtrot and waltz and samba moves." He snatched the newspaper from Kaiba. "You know, it's _rude_ to work on a puzzle when someone's trying to have a conversation with you."

Kaiba was about to protest, but instead closed his mouth and put down his pen.

Pegasus looked at the crossword. "Hyphen's cousin: _slash_. Rapper turned actor: _Ice-T._ Opera city: _Sydney."_ He pushed the newspaper back toward Kaiba and slid out of the booth. "If you'll excuse me, I have lemons and limes to slice."

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**.**

_Men's Night; Ladies' Night T minus one-and-a-half days_

_._

Pegasus had gone to the liquor storeroom near Roslyn's office to restock the bar's shelves before the bar was invaded by newly-paid soldiers in less than an hour, and Kaiba was so desperate for something, _anything_, to do after sweeping the club room that he had opened the electrical box and was reading the labels on the circuit breakers.

There was a clatter of footfalls in the hallway from the dormitory.

"Not _me_. I have like, a _day_ to finish the costume, and it's still in a million pieces."

"What about Tanya? She's not dancing, she could do tables. Or sew."

"She can't do tables, she still gets the shits every five minutes. And she couldn't sew buttons on a goat."

"What does that even mean?"

"Soozee can sew. And she's on the - "

"No, Soozee's dancing. She thinks they tip better if they can smell her hormones or something."

"Ew!"

"Seriously, she told me?_ 'It's not my fault most men are animals and can't resist a bitch in heat.'_ Do you believe that?"

"Ew!"

"Guys, we gotta figure something out."

"Well, _I'm_ not doing it. Last Army Night I made over a thousand in tips. Waiting tables tonight is gonna suck ass compared to that."

"Boo-frickety-hoo. No one pays me to sew costumes."

"Frickety boo right back. Mike had plenty of costumes left, you didn't have to go nuts making that fancy - "

"Shhh! Here he comes!"

"Ladies!" he heard Pegasus say. "What a delightful surprise."

"Sorry we invaded your space," one of the women said.

"You can invade my space anytime you like," he heard Pegasus say, using his Lascivious Mode voice. This got a response of giggles and shrieks.

"I can't _wait_ to see you dance."

"I'm just happy to do something for Miz Rosylyn ... "

As Kaiba listened to them chatter and flirt he closed the electrical box thoughtfully. It seemed Pegasus had added false modesty to his "I volunteered to help and I am therefore noble" act, milking it like the attention whore he was.

Well, _two_ could play at altruism. Kaiba strode to the archway and said coldly, "I will help. I'll take tables tonight so that you are free to do whatever you need to do."

It was gratifying, how surprised Pegasus looked.

.

**.**

_The following day – Ladies' Night_ _!_

_._

Pegasus disappeared an hour or so before The Bear Rug's doors were due to open, just as trucks and cars and snowmobiles began pulling into the parking lot and the entrance hallway began to fill with noisy women.

Kaiba, feeling at loose ends, went into the club room where Roslyn was setting up a microphone and the DJ equipment on a small table at the back of the room.

"I can tend the bar for Pega – for Paris tonight," he said. "From what I've seen it's primarily filling pitchers with beer. Or I can wait tables."

"Soozee est dans sa semaine," Jacqueline said, catching the audio cables Roslyn tossed her and snaking them along the wall toward the speakers near the stage.

"Oh, that's right," Roslyn said. "No worries, Ben. I've asked Soozee to bartend, and the other girls are looking forward to picking up some extra tips. Nothing left for you to do but just hang out and send positive vibes to your friend. Not that he needs 'em: he looked cool as a floe just now. Not a lick of stage fright." She tapped the microphone for a sound check, then, satisfied with the amplified thud, switched it off. "I couldn't get up there: bad enough being MC. I get stomachaches and throw up when I'm nervous. What about you?"

"I've never had that problem," Kaiba said, although it wasn't true. His first year in Gozaburo Kaiba's house, anything less than a perfect score on Hobson's daily quiz was punished by not being allowed to have his allotted quarter-hour visit with Mokuba after dinner. That year, his stomach hurt all the time, although of course he had never told anyone about it.

At precisely 7 pm, the doors were opened and a crowd of at least two hundred poured into The Bear Rug. Kaiba was equal parts offended and embarrassed that more than one customer who passed patted him in an entirely inappropriate way. As it was clear that there would be nowhere to sit – even the dining room was packed, and his regular booth was crammed with four women playing poker – he stood awkwardly near the wait station, wishing that someone would give him something to do. Like shovel snow outside until the show was over.

"Welcome, everyone," he heard Roslyn said as the raucous chatter and sounds of chairs scraping the floor died down. "This might be our Last Ladies Night for a while, so let's make it a night to remember! Are you all ready to be entertained?"

Moderate applause.

"That sounded kinda weak," Roslyn said. "I'll ask again, _ARE YOU ALL READY TO BE ENTERTAINED?_"

Much louder clapping, accented by cheers, foot stomping, and table-thumping.

"That's more like it!"

"You're not gonna watch?" Soozee asked him, wiping her hands on a bar towel.

"Hardly."

"Well, I'm gonna." She came out from behind the bar. "I contributed some of the outfits. Looks hella better on them guys than on my ex. C'mon." Surprisingly strong, she grabbed Kaiba's arm and, ignoring his balking, dragged him to the doorway.

"Alright! First up – _Winchester!_"

As the Beach Boys' _Do You Wanna Dance_ came over the speakers, the curtains parted and a shaggy-haired blond in a beach robe and an orange Speedo jogged out on stage. His "performance" – if it could be called that – consisted of bouncing around the stage, pointing to various tables, and then urging them to get up and dance. To his credit, by the time the music segued into Elvis Costello's _Pump it Up_ he did have most of the crowd on their feet, clapping and dancing in place.

As the song was winding down Sooze elbowed Kaiba and pointed to Roslyn, who was gesturing frantically. They hurried over to her.

"I forgot to ask Paris what he wants me to call him," Roslyn said. "We usually don't use people's real names. Any idea what he wanted for a stage name?"

For a moment, Kaiba was tempted to tell her to use Sir Pegasus, or Lord Dainty – but instead he said, "Mister Adventure. Call him Mister Adventure."

"Okay!" Roslyn nodded, then turned back to her microphone. "A big thank you to Winchester! Up next please welcome, in his debut at The Bear Rug – _Mister Adventure!_"

The lights in the club went out for a second, and when they came back on, Pegasus was standing with his back to the audience, wearing a stylish gray suit and a fedora. Not a strand of his long silver hair was visible. When the music started – Cream's _Born Under a Bad Sign_ – he spun around to face the audience and Kaiba saw that he was wearing oversized dark sunglasses.

_"Born under a bad sign … If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all … "_

As Pegasus began to unbutton his suit coat in time to the music Kaiba looked down at the floor, his face burning. As the song went on the crowd's whistles and catcalls got and louder. Curious despite himself, Kaiba glanced up. Pegasus, still wearing his sunglasses, had unbuttoned his shirt to the waist and had loosened his tie, and was sliding the ends back and forth suggestively in time to the music. As the song ended Pegasus pulled off his hat and tossed it into the audience, releasing the cascade of his shimmering hair to a roar from the crowd.

Roslyn shook Kaiba's shoulder. "He's great!" she said. "I _knew_ he could do it!"

"Ben didn't want to watch," Soozee offered.

"Oh, it's just people! Now you stay put," Roslyn ordered.

Onstage Rios, a brown-skinned man with bulging muscles wearing a wrestler's singlet, was doing bicep curls, squats, and one-handed pushups to C+C Factory's _Gonna Make you Sweat_.

"People," Kaiba muttered.

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After Rios' performance there was a brief intermission; Roslyn played uptempo music while drink orders were being taken. Kaiba decided that he'd risk Roslyn's wrath and grabbed a busing tray, picking up from most of the tables before the next set started.

Winchester was back, dressed a cowboy, with blue jeans and a checkered shirt that he was somehow able to remove without disturbing his leather chaps. He ended the performance riding around the stage on a wooden stick horse, naked except for the chaps and an extremely well-placed plastic saddle.

Kaiba, who had had his fill of entertainment, threaded his way through the crush of crowd in the dining room – women were still crowding into The Bear Rug – through the swinging doors into the snow-packed entranceway.

The solitude and frigid air were a relief. Certainly he'd expected to do some odd things when he signed the contrast for the wager – had, in fact, done them, and reasonably well, he felt – but he was sure that what Pegasus and the other men were doing this evening wasn't remotely like what normal people did every day for a living.

He heard Roslyn's muffled announcement of a special guest appearance by Dinka, followed by the sound of slinky Moroccan music.

Although really, what did it matter what Pegasus did? In twenty-four hours or so the the wager period would be over and he'd be on his way home, where the only person rippling his silence would be Mokuba. Less than a day and he'd be in charge of his environment again, his waking and sleeping, his food and drink. He was certain that once he got home, had the familiar feel of his keyboard under his fingers again, the ache in his hands would go away.

"Hey, Ben?" One of the dancers – Sylvie? Jenny? they all blurred together – was leaning out into the entrance corridor. "Mr. Adventure needs your help."

"For what?" Whatever it was, Pegasus could just deal with it on his own.

"I dunno. I think he's freaking out. Roslyn asked me to come find you."

Roslyn ... Kaiba acknowledged that Roslyn had inherited the debt of his life than he owed to Captain Nan, and so for her sake he went inside to deal with whatever problem Pegasus was having.

As he passed the club room he glimpsed, through the archway, the blond on stage again, now decked out in biker gear and gyrating to Heart's _Barracuda._

"How mediocre," he muttered, following Sylvie-or-Jenny-or whoever she was down the dormitory corridor and into a kitchen storeroom that was doubling as a dressing room.

Pegasus, still wearing the grey suit, was wringing his hands, but the surprising thing was that he was wearing a glass eye – and Kaiba's first thought was that it was only because he knew it wasn't real that he could tell the eye was artificial. He wondered for a moment why Pegasus didn't wear it all the time, but then realized that the answer was obvious. A well-made glass eye was nowhere as dramatically ostentatious, as "romantic," as a black eye-patch.

"What am I going to do?" Pegasus asked, ignoring Kaiba's question.

"About?" Kaiba asked, already irritated with the histrionics.

"That!" Pegasus pointed to two costumes. One was a pirate outfit – if pirates wore filmy white shirts shredded by birds into fluttery piles of rags, black leather pants, and knee-high red leather boots. Next to it was a purple robe with red trimmed sleeves, matching fluted shoulder pads, and a peaked purple hat with stiff, visor-like extensions.

"Black Magician?" Kaiba wasn't sure whether to laugh, deride, or applaud. "A very passable job with such limited materials and time."

"I made a sketch of it as a joke about one of the songs on the music list, but apparently they thought I meant I'd _dance_ to that song and so made a costume from the sketch. I think they expect me to _wear_ it. On _stage_." He pointed. "They made a staff, too." Propped in the corner was a long piece of PVC pipe, spray-painted green; at the top was a familiar flared tip made from a painted milk carton and a tennis ball.

"I don't see the problem."

"I thought I would only have to do the _one_ dance. Which was, relatively speaking, quite elegant and tasteful. But when I got back here I found these _other_ two outfits and I think that means they expect me to dance _twice_ more and there's no way I can go out there wearing those things and holding that and what am I going to do?!" Pegasus appeared to be hyperventilating.

"You will put on the costumes and dance." Kaiba folded his arms, savoring the _schadenfreude_. "You have no choice."

"I can't go on stage again. I'm a wreck." Pegasus held out his hands, which were shaking badly. "Look at my hands. And ... I might vomit any moment."

"Suck it up and stop stalling. Your adoring fans are waiting."

"I can't wear that costume. It's disrespectful," Pegasus said stubbornly. "It would be like making fun of my own creation."

"Your creation? Isn't Black Magician stolen from ancient stone tablets?"

"You're not helping!" Pegasus said. He was most definitely panicked. "I can't _believe_ they took me seriously."

"You offered to dance. Poor judgment on your part."

"You could go in my place!" Pegasus said. "You're almost as tall as I am, and your hair is much more suited for the look."

"Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

"I have no dance training."

"They'll laugh at me." Pegasus' voice was rising in pitch.

Someone knocked at the storage room door. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes!" Kaiba said. "He'll be ready in a few moments!"

"Fine!" Pegasus hissed. "You win. I _quit_. I want to go home. Let's leave right now."

"Ridiculous," Kaiba said. "You're not going to concede with only one day left in the two weeks. I won't allow it."

Pegasus made a fretful sound.

"Stop it." Kaiba glared at him. "Get dressed and go out there."

Pegasus looked defeated, and frightened, and appallingly close to tears, and Kaiba finally understood. Not only had Pegasus impulsively let his archaic notion of gallantry carry him away before stopping to think through the consequences of offering to dance, it seemed that as much as Pegasus craved being the center of attention, he wanted that center to be in a small, intimate group and not a raucous crowd of hundreds. Now that Kaiba thought of it, as long as he'd known Pegasus the man had been for the most part a recluse, generally _avoiding_ public gestures unless he was well-separated from the sweaty mass of the common man.

Kaiba's eyes widened. It had never occurred to him before, but now he was certain that he had stumbled on the truth: the flamboyant Maximillion "Pegasus" J. Crawford was in reality … _shy._

In the silence, the crowd's chant of "Ad-ven-_ture!_ Ad-ven-_ture!_" was quite audible.

Well, there was no way around it: Pegasus had to get over his stage fright. Immediately. Kaiba had tried reason and forceful command: the only tactic left was an appeal to Crawford's vanity. "You know what will happen when you go out there? That audience of women will applaud you."

"No they won't," Pegasus sniffled. He shook a shiny jockstrap/g-string/codpiece made of bright green metallic fabric at Kaiba. "This? I'm supposed to wear _this_ under the robe, and then at the end of the dance – It's ridiculous. _I'm_ ridiculous."

"I saw them and heard them during your dance. It was a positive response."

"You watched?" Pegasus looked surprised.

Sidestepping this, Kaiba pushed out the words, the words he didn't want to say, the words he knew he _had_ to say. "It was clear even to me that they found you attractive. Sexy."

Pegasus was abashed. "Oh, that's …. I'm _shocked_. Did you just use the word _sexy_? I had no idea that word was in in your vocabulary, much less that you understood the concept it expresses." Having said this, though, he did turn to look at the Black Magician robe. "Thirty year old man dressed like a Duel Monster," he muttered. "I know what you're doing, you know. You're just saying whatever you think it will take to get me out on stage."

In response, Kaiba slammed Pegasus against the wall, leaned in close, and said furiously. "You're too much work."

"K- Kai – ?"

Kaiba kissed him. With closed lips, but still hard_, _and on the mouth. For several seconds. "Now," he snarled, pushing himself away. "Would I do that if you weren't sexy? Very very sexy?"

Pegasus looked to be in shock.

"Now just _shut the fuck up_ and stop all this bullshit and get out there before I kill you!" Kaiba ordered, and then spun and left the storeroom, slamming the door behind him.

"Is he coming?" Roslyn asked as he stormed back through the crowd and wedged himself into the corner behind the DJ's table.

"Yes."

A few minutes later a hand came from behind the curtains, waving a pirate hat.

As Rosyln, grinning, cued up the music Pegasus came on stage in the ridiculous pirate costume, doing a spinning, waltzing dance while swinging two plastic swords.

It was, Kaiba had to admit, surprisingly fitting choreography for the music (which overlay the theme from a popular pirate movie with a techno/trance beat). He was focusing intently on the music to prevent himself from noticing how distressingly tight the black leather pants were.

A number of women began to crowd around the stage, holding up bills. Pegasus posed dramatically before shamelessly swooping down to take the money, continuing to swashbuckle and collect money until the music faded out.

Roslyn said, "Let's hear another round of applause for Mister Adventure!" She waited until the noise had ebbed a bit, then asked, "You all want an encore?"

.

The light in the club went violet from black light bulbs, and the crowd hushed as a glowing staff parted the stage's silvery curtains. The first notes of Creedence Clearwater's slow, sensual _I Put a Spell on You_ filled the room.

Pegasus didn't so much walk on stage as _sashay_, tapping his staff on the platform in time to the music, his face shadowed by the hood. When he got to the midpoint of the runway he stopped, held his staff with both hands, and, pointing it at the audience, drew slow circles in the air in time to the music.

_I put a spell on you … because you're mine …._

Mesmerized, the audience began to clap in unison. During the guitar solo Pegasus reached into his sleeve and pulled out a cloth pouch which turned out to be contain glittery confetti. He tossed it out over the crowd in graceful arcs.

Then he kicked forward with one leg, sweeping the long robe aside to give the audience a flash of bright green. This caused an explosion of appreciative clapping and hooting, and he repeated it twice more.

_I just can't stand it, the way you always put me down … _

"Hn." So was this what shy looked like, or had Pegasus played him?

_I put a spell on you … because you're mine … _

For the finale Pegasus turned his back to the audience, and as the song crescendoed there was a ripping sound: a second later the green g-string sailed back over his shoulder into the crowd.

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The applause didn't die down even after the lights came back up: the audience was only appeased when Pegasus - thankfully, now wearing pants - re-emerged and mingled among them, letting them stuff money into his cowl and the top of his staff.

Finally, after the last of the women had finally been shooed out the front door, Pegasus, cowl-less and elated, came over to Kaiba. "Do you believe it?" he said, unfolding a thick wad of money and fanning the bills. "If we'd needed this, we'd have more than enough money to go home!""

"So you enjoyed yourself, Mister Adventure?" Kaiba asked. He was considering asking for a drink. An alcoholic one. Something strong.

"Hardly!" Pegasus said, hurrying behind the bar and accepting a hug from Soozee. "I'm _still_ shaking. It was horrible. I was so nervous. I must have looked entirely foolish."

"This evening provided so little ego-stroking for you that you're trying to fish for more?" Kaiba asked.

Pegasus wasn't the least offended. "Very amusing. I'd like to see how _you'd_ do up there, dear boy. Though I suppose you wouldn't be able to perform without hundred-foot high video screens supporting the weight of your gigantic ego, would you?"

"You are the expert on gigantic ego, not me."

Pegasus stepped close, his face serious. "Listen, Kaiba," he said, his voice low. "About what you did in the storeroom. I had no idea …"

"Don't mention it," Kaiba said.

"I mean, it never occurred to me – "

"I said not to mention it," Kaiba ordered. He suppressed the urge to wipe his mouth.

Pegasus wasn't deterred. "I just can't believe that you – "

"It was necessary," Kaiba said dismissively. "You were being irrational. Rational methods were not successful. Therefore irrational behavior on my part was clearly called for."

"Oh. Yes. Clearly." Pegasus's expression was not one Kaiba could interpret. "So you don't actually - "

"No." Kaiba worked his jaw, looked away. He wasn't sure, but he was beginning to suspect he had won a round of whatever game Pegasus was currently playing, and he didn't want the triumph to show on his face.

"My sincerely apologies, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus said, sounding entirely genuine, "for forcing you to go to such an extreme."

"Your apology is accepted," Kaiba said crisply.

If one kiss was all it took to rattle Crawford's composure, it had been entirely worth it.

"You know," Pegasus said, shifting gears, "as much as I _love _the green room and those _heavenly _brown couches we've been sleeping on, I've got a wicked idea. Since they're not expecting us until the day after tomorrow, I say we go back a day early and surprise them?"

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_~ To be continued ~_

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Notes: **Dark Rabbit** was my primary beta for this chapter along with **Rroelavy**. Anybody can nit-pick typos, but those two make me _think_.

All songs mentioned are copyright to their respective composers. Full credits, as well as additional author's notes, will be posted at my Dreamwidth and LiveJournal.

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(05) 7 Dec 2012


	8. A Return and a Departure

Yu-Gi-Oh is the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and Konami, and is being used in this fanfiction for fan purposes only. No infringement or disrespect is intended by this fanfiction.

Description: Two CEOs, one bet: Can Pegasus and Kaiba handle working side-by-side in an ordinary job? For two weeks? Without killing each other? CHAPTER EIGHT: Home at last. The wager is settled, some loose ends are tied up, and Roland loses his cell phone.

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><p><strong>World's Worst, Chapter 8: A Return and a Departure<strong>  
><em>by Animom<em>

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><p>.<p>

It was a perfect day. The sun, though shining down from a cloudless sky, was considerate, stopping just short of being too hot. The breeze swirling up from the ocean was cool enough to soothe, but not cold enough to chill. The local birds, having eaten every pesky insect on the island, were singing their gratitude just loud enough to be charming rather than annoying to the two men in Hawaiian shirts and swim trunks who sat in lounge chairs next to the enormous infinity pool.

"We'll finish this today," Croquet said, paging though the Bartender's Book he'd taken from the excessively well-stocked bar on the mansion's ocean-facing patio.

"Oh? How many are left?" Roland, whose speech could charitably be described as "somewhat slurred," had to try several times before his mouth connected to the straw in the large ceramic pineapple containing his drink.

"Six. Planter's Punch, Rum Runner, Sex on the Beach, Singapore Sling, Ward Eight, and Zombie."

"I can't decide which one is my favorite!" Roland said. "I love _all_ of them! Daiquiri, and that tea, and the gin thing … "

Flipping back to the table of contents, Croquet read, "Bacardi Cocktail, Bahama Mama, Between the Sheets, Blue Hawaiian, Chi Chi, Daiquiri, French 75, Gin Fizz, Hurricane, Jack Rose, Long Island Iced Tea, Lynchburg Lemonade, Mai Tai, and Margarita." He counted. "Fourteen. Fifteen if you count the Piña Coladas we have now."

"Do you know," Roland asked, pushing up his sunglasses up for emphasis, "why Between the Sheets comes before Sex on the Beach?"

"Because they're listed alphabetically?" the other replied, half-listening.

"No, because otherwise you'd get sand in the bed!" Not seeing a response, he added vert earnestly, "It's, you know, because you'd have sand on your feet from the," his voice dropped to a stage whisper, "_beach sex_, and it would rub off once you got _between the sheets!"_ He nodded. "I _think of these_ things. I'm a _detail_ man."

"Maybe we'll just stop at Piña Colada," Croquet said primly, closing the book. "After all, we _have_ tried more than two-thirds of the recipes."

"Awww!" Roland said. Deflated into silence, he noisily sipped his pineapple until it was empty, then – after peering into it to make sure that no alcohol was hiding – he set it down next to his lounge chair. "This has been really great, hasn't it?"

"Hm."

"I'm glad you let me stay here."

"It made the most sense." Croquet looked over at Roland. "I could have spent the time by myself, but the company of a friend supposedly makes a vacation more more enjoyable."

"Oh!" Roland made a sniffing sound. "Do you – do you truly think of me as your friend?"

"I don't see why I wouldn't. After all, we do have quite a number of things in common."

A second later Roland had flung himself across the space between them to half-strangle Croquet in an awkward bear hug. "Thank you."

"No need to get maudlin," Croquet said, attempting to disentangle himself.

"Hey!" Roland said. "You have little pieces of pineapple on your mustache." He realized a moment later that a) attempting to nibble fruit off Croquet's mustache bordered on over-familiarity and b) he was very very drunk. Far drunker than he'd ever been ... ever. "I'd better sit down."

'That might be wise." A moment later Croquet clarified, "Over there. Not over here."

"Oh." Roland, abashed, wobbled his way back to his own chair.

"I'm going to make us some coffee," an equally flustered Croquet said, and then hurried inside.

Roland hugged himself once Croquet was out of sight. "Coffee is good."

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Some time later – after Croquet had brought out a tray of sandwiches and coffee and reluctantly returned the incompletely-explored Bartender's Book to the bar – Roland said, "Mokuba didn't call today, did he?"

"No," Croquet said, brushing sandwich crumbs from his mustache. "But I'd assume that he's making preparations for picking them up tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Roland said, gratefully sipping his steaming cup of black coffee. "Back to business."

"The return of the _status quo ante_," Croquet said.

They both sat in silence for a moment, savoring their last day of freedom as the sun began to set, turning the placid blue infinity pool to black ink.

"I can't believe I'm looking forward to going back to work," Roland confessed. "Is it crazy, that I've started to miss it? All the running around trying to keep up with all his demands?"

"No, I feel the same," Croquet said. "It's gratifying to do something useful. To know you're necessary, even if it's not appreciated."

"Well, we'll be back to that same old same old tomorrow."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," a familiar, arrogant voice countered from the patio.

"Kaiba-sama!" Roland, startled and still less than half-sober despite sandwiches and coffee, fell out of his lounge chair. His cell phone skittered across the deck and into the pool.

Croquet, much more sober, quickly stood. He was unable to stop himself from glancing guiltily at the empty drink pineapples under Roland's chair.

"You've been enjoying the libations, I see," Pegasus said sternly, folding his arms.

"Ah, well – " Croquet rapidly reached speechless incoherence.

Meanwhile, Roland, distraught, had escaped from his overturned lounge chair and jumped into the pool, diving to look for his phone.

"Roland!" Kaiba said furiously when he surfaced for the third time. "Get out of there!"

Chastised, a dripping Roland climbed out, hanging his head like a whipped dog and shuffling to Kaiba as if expecting to be hit with a newspaper. "Forgive me, Kaiba-sama."

"It's just a phone," Kaiba said gruffly. "Easily replaced."

"He's bleeding," Pegasus said, pointing to the pinkish rivulet squiggling down from Roland's elbow.

Kaiba pulled out his cell phone. "Call a – "

"There's a first aid kit on the bottom shelf of the bar," Croquet offered.

Pegasus went to the bar, rummaged the small box out, and then tossed it to Kaiba.

Kaiba, who at first handed the kit to Roland as if expecting him bandage himself, noticed Pegasus' smirk. "Hold the box," he said to Roland, then opened it and took out an alcohol wipe and a packet of gauze. As Roland stared in amazement Kaiba explained sternly, "Mokuba had frequent minor injuries when he was young. Because of that I learned proper treatment of wounds."

"I heard my name," Mokuba said as he stepped onto the patio. He stopped and goggled at the sight of his brother tending to Roland's elbow. "What the – ?"

"Never underestimate the power of competitive altruism," Pegasus murmured to him.

"Hey, big brother," Mokuba said.

"Hn." Kaiba turned from the stunned and blushing Roland. "I've waited long enough. Tell me how you've been tracking us."

"Tracking?" Pegasus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You didn't think it was odd that he met us in Kodiak?" Kaiba asked him.

"It's where we flew to when we started. I assumed he'd just been waiting there."

Kaiba sighed noisily, as if trying to be patient. "Not for two – never mind." He turned to Mokuba. "Well? You said you couldn't answer in the plane because it was too loud. Is it now too quiet?"

"Nah." Mokuba clearly relished knowing something that his big brother did not. "When I saw this morning that you were on the move but hadn't called me, I figured that maybe you wanted your return to be a surprise. I was gonna hang back, until I heard some guys talking about a 'white-haired pirate' trying to buy 'no-questions asked' transportation from Kodiak to San Francisco. I figured you'd need help once you ran out of local options."

Kaiba eyed Pegasus. "For once your distinctiveness is an asset. Still, I suppose it is gratifying to know that someone with cash but no identification can't purchase a commercial airline ticket."

"Speaking of that," Mokuba said, hefting the small duffel he carried, "I grabbed the bag with your credit cards and cell phones and checkbooks. And your clothes, if you want to change."

"Oh, thank goodness," Pegasus said, reaching for the bag. "I've decided I hate wool and polyester equally. I can't wait to wear cotton and silk again."

"Perhaps later," Kaiba said, cutting Pegasus off from the bag. "You're not going to distract me so easily, Mokuba. You explained _why_ you met us in Kodiak, but not _how_ you pinpointed our location. We had neither cell phone nor transmitters. Have the KaibaCorp surveillance satellites been scanning for us?"

"Nope," Mokuba said. "But before I tell you, I'd like to know how long it took you to figure out that I was tracking you. And after that, you have to promise to tell me what happened on the fish boat, and what you were doing out in those woods last week – there isn't a town anywhere where near where you were."

"While those tales are spun," Pegasus said, "I think many tall glasses of refreshing, _non-alcoholic_ beverages will be required." When he saw Croquet begin to move, he held up a hand. "Sit down, Croquet, I'll get this round. After all, I _do_ know my way around a bar. Both sides of it."

"He does," Kaiba said, then said to Mokuba, "I knew it once _The_ _Faespun_ was sent to pick us up."

Pegasus gasped. "Sent? Really?"

"Of course," Kaiba said condescendingly. "Wasn't it obvious? You didn't think that 'coming across' our small boat in the middle of that zero-traffic area was too improbable for chance? What I don't know," he narrowed his eyes at Mokuba, "is how you pinpointed us without the transmitters." He stopped, frowning. "In fact, given the distances and currents involved, _The Faespun_ must have set out shortly after we were put off _The Stygian_. I assume you were monitoring us from the Aleutians?"

Mokuba nodded.

"Did my transmitter signal get through after all? Or was there something in our clothing?"

"Yes and no and not exactly," Mokuba said, following Pegasus as he carried a tray with a pitcher and five glasses to the poolside table. Mokuba sat down, folding his arms behind his head, waiting until everyone else had taken their drinks and seated themselves before he continued.

"Now, don't get mad," Mokuba said, "but when Doctor Boscardin did the surgery on your shoulder he put a – "

"You had surgery?" Pegasus asked Kaiba, frowning with concern. "When was that? If I'd known about it I could have sent flowers. How did you get hurt?"

Kaiba looked at him sourly. "It was a trivial procedure. Debridement of the supraspinatus to remove frayed muscle fibers." He turned back to Mokuba. "A chip? I suspected as much at the time. Good thing I didn't have to go through standard airport security."

"Wouldn't have been a problem," Mokuba said. "It's tiny and non-metallic."

"Kaiba-boy, you're chipped?"

"Hn." Kaiba, an avid glint in his eye, was ignoring Pegasus. "What powers it? To send even a weak signal that far takes power."

"Experimental porous organic mesh battery," Mokuba said, matching his energy. "Uses the salinity of lymph – "

"Can we finish the rescue story first?" Pegasus asked. "Before the science talk takes over?"

"Oh, sure," Mokuba said sheepishly.

"Experimental? " Kaiba snuck in a last question before the subject changed. "Our patent?"

"Of course," Mokuba said.

"_Please?_" Pegasus pleaded.

"Sorry. Anyhow, yes, I had you chipped. Probably should have asked first, but we both figured you'd say no."

"We who?" Kaiba demanded, then caught the look that passed between Mokuba and Roland. "I see. So you had me tagged like a dog and never told me."

"If it makes any difference, I had myself done at the same time," Mokuba said with a grin. "I got that idea that year when I was kidnapped like, six times: Jounouchi said I needed a Lo-Jack. I've thought about that ever since." His expression became serious and he said, "And hey, if anyone ever takes you again, I want to be able to find you. Fast."

"Hn."

"Oh!" Pegasus said suddenly. "_That's_ how you got the idea to tell Ted that _I_ was chipped! Now I understand. Although," he frowned, "I thought at the time you were quite clever and brave to make up that story to stop them from killing me. Now that I know the truth I'm less impressed."

Kaiba didn't say anything so Mokuba continued. "When the signal from the transmitters went one way, and the signal from your shoulder chip went the other … "

"Wait, Kaiba-boy has a chip _in_ his shoulder?" Pegasus chuckled. "That's _priceless_."

" … _way_," Mokuba said, fighting laughter, "I knew something was wrong. So I sent Captain Nan out." The grin disappeared. "You have no idea how happy I was when she _didn't_ radio me."

"Why?"

"Because she was only to radio if she didn't find anything at the specified location. To tell us to send out the dive teams. To look for your body." Mokuba's face pinched up suddenly, and he looked down.

"The Bear Rug," Pegasus said brightly. "Was that also part of the master plan?"

"The bare rug?" Mokuba said with a small sniffle, raising his head. "Captain Nan didn't say anything about a rug."

"Ah well, it's not important," Pegasus said soothingly.

Mokuba asked, "Okay, so that's my story. Now spill – what did you do after she brought you back to land? You obviously made enough in a week to have enough cash to buy flights back."

"Do you know how to contact Captain Nan?" Pegasus asked, once again to diverting the subject. "I'd like to keep in touch with her." At Kaiba's derisive snort, he added haughtily, "It's reasonable to feel a special bond with someone's who's saved your life."

"She's not interested in dating you," Kaiba said. "She called you _dainty_, remember?"

"Yes, and I also remember what she said about _you_. She indicated that she considered a rabid pit bull to be more cuddly."

"Your point?"

Mokuba punched a button on his cell phone. "Hello … This is Kaiba Mokuba... Yes, they did..." He glanced up at Pegasus, who brightened. "He did? That's great... Yes, he's here now, do you want to talk to him?" He listened for a moment longer, nodded, then said, "I think so." He held the phone out to Pegasus.

"Is it really her?" Pegasus asked as he took the phone. "Hello, my dear," he said in his creamiest, most charming voice. "It's delightful to hear from you." As he listened, his face went from smug to surprised to delighted. "Absolutely! Shall I give you my address in San Francisco now? ... Oh, of course... You too! Goodbye."

"So she's planning to visit?" Kaiba asked.

"Yes," Pegasus replied with dignity. "She'll be swinging by at the end of – _her honeymoon!_" He gave a small-but-heartfelt fist-pump.

"Honeymoon?" Kaiba was confused. "A _wedding_ honeymoon?"

Pegasus stood. "Hold up your glasses, everyone, and let them be re-filled so that all we can toast the impending nuptials of – the two Captains!"

When glasses had been refilled Pegasus held his aloft and said, "A toast to Romance, and the power of the Romance Novel! To Love, and Justice!"

He then explained. His plot to get the two romance novel-loving Captains together had worked out better than he'd anticipated. Once Captain Lloyd heard Nan's information about the fate of "Paris and Kino" he'd whisked her off to the police, where warrants were quickly issued for Ted and Ski Mask. Ski Mask had been picked up within hours, boarding a new ship: he had immediately asked for immunity or a lessening of the drug-smuggling and attempted murder charges in exchange for testifying against Ted. He had also volunteered information about the fate of several missing scientific teams – one of which had included Nan's missing friend.

Nan was so grateful to finally have closure that she offered to buy Lloyd dinner. The two had hit it off – one bonding point being, as Pegasus had hoped, their mutual guilty pleasure of trashy melodrama. Things had progressed quickly: when Lloyd had proposed, Nan had, as she put it, "said yes to the big, fiery, hairy, loosome eejit."

At the end of this story, even Kaiba was seen to have a faint smile.

"So … " Mokuba said, "at the risk of stomping on the warm glow, I gotta know – who won the bet?"

"Oh, that's right," Pegasus said. "The bet."

He and Kaiba both reached for the duffel bag at the same time.

"What are you doing?" they asked in unison.

"Getting my checkbook," each replied.

After everyone was done being surprised, both Pegasus and Kaiba wrote out checks.

"Before I give this to you," Kaiba said to Croquet in his _I Am Now Making a Pronouncement _voice, "I will tell you that you don't know your employer half as well as you think you do."

"I ate scrambled eggs. And ribs with barbeque sauce," Pegasus added. "Just like a regular guy."

Kaiba jabbed the check at an amazed Croquet.

"I mirror what Kaiba-boy said," Pegasus said, as with a flourish he tore out the check he'd written and held it out to Roland. "Though he loves his toys, he's not a machine."

Kaiba scowled.

As a disbelieving Roland took the check, Pegasus bowed deeply. "Now," he said. "I hope you won't mind if I abandon you, but I'm going to take a long, hot, bubble bath. Or perhaps a shower _followed_ by a bath. At any rate, I'm sure I'll be in there for hours."

Croquet started to get up. "Do you need me to prepare ... " he started to say.

"No," Pegasus said with a wave of his hand. "You're still on vacation as far as I'm concerned. At least for today. Stay there, drink your drink. I know how to draw a bath, and I've already got a book to read."

"I suppose we should be going then," Mokuba said to Pegasus.

Pegasus nodded. "I wish I could seduce you and your brother into staying ... _overnight_," he said suggestively. "But I know how eager he is to escape my clutches and get back to Japan and his beloved KaibaCorp computers. There probably are a dozen disasters that need his loving attention more than I do."

"I'm sure Mokuba and Roland have taken good care of everything in my absence," Kaiba said dismissively, rummaging in the duffel for his coat. "But I do prefer to be in familiar surroundings."

"I could surround you with something familiar," Pegasus said with a wink.

Roland sputtered.

"Goodbye _Mister Paris_," Kaiba said, removing Pegasus' clothes and jewelry from the duffel and dropping them on an empty chair. "Enjoy your bubble bath. Since you're the creative genius, figure out how to explain your deception to Roslyn. She's likely to be at the wedding ceremony."

"Oh," Pegasus said faintly. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Of course you didn't." Kaiba briefly raised a hand in farewell, then began to walk toward the patio. "Let's go!" he said, and Roland hurried after.

"Did something happen?" Mokuba asked once they were inside and out of earshot. "You seem different."

"No," Kaiba said firmly. "It's only that I now understand why he says and does such annoying things. Since he considers an angry reaction from me to be a win, if I don't react, _I_ win."

They made their way through the mansion, across the foyer and out the grand entranceway, to the Blue Eyes hover-jet parked on Pegasus' front lawn.

"What do you want to start with when we get home?" Mokuba asked. "Roland got all the weekly status reports printed out and prioritized your emails."

"Good," Kaiba said, starting the engines. "but first we're going to go to Mutou's shop and pick up a some cards. Spell Absorption, De-Spell, Spell-binding Circle ..."

"Why?" Mokuba asked. "Are you planning to start dueling professionally again?"

"No," Kaiba said as the jet flapped its wings and lifted off the grass. "I was thinking of putting together a deck in case there's ever an opportunity to duel with friends."

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_~ The end ~_

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Author's Notes: At last, the final chapter!

I am very grateful to **Dark Rabbit** for being such a fantastic (i.e., responsive and articulate) beta for this story. Thanks also to **Shirgane777** for inadvertently giving me the idea for the resolution concerning Captain Lloyd. ~ More author's notes will be posted at my LiveJournal and DreamWidth (links in my profile).

I hope you all have enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing.

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(05) 19 Aug 2011 ~ Minor edits to close a few small holes.


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